1 week post op and no one to help me

Hi everyone,

It has been a week since surgery and I felt good until last night. I am running a low grade fever and can't stand very long without getting dizzy and very nauseated. The front of my head in the temple area hurts so bad and I am trying to wean myself from my pain meds as I am very very constipated.

My mom and sister can't seem to get it through their heads that right now I can't be left alone and that I really need their help. My hubby works 11 hrs a day so for the majority of the day I am by myself. No home phone and no minutes left on phone. None of my friends have came to see me. One of them just lives up the street!

I hate to be a burden on anyone and I hardly ever ask for help. When my mom and sister act this way is upsets me very much and makes me feel like an inconvience(sp?) to them.

It is taking every ounce of strength in me to stay positive and stress free. I should be able to count on my family and at this point in time they have really let me down. My sister has always been jealous of me and anytime a little attention is given to me she gets mad.

I thank God for all of my friends on here and for this website. You all are my lifeline. Sooo glad to have internet again.

Love and Gentle hugs,


You need to call your NS ASAP! Sounds like you may have an infection. You need help!!! Tell your hubby to get on his work phone and call your friends. You don’t want to end up back in the hospital. I know it’s rough but hand in there. I’ll be praying for you hun


Tonya J. said:

You need to call your NS ASAP! Sounds like you may have an infection. You need help!!! Tell your hubby to get on his work phone and call your friends. You don’t want to end up back in the hospital. I know it’s rough but hand in there. I’ll be praying for you hun

Thanks you all! I have been taking a stool softener and drinking water. Nothing is helping. I still need the pain meds and I agree it is too soon to back off of them. It is like I am stuck. I am need them but they constipate me. I have been taking 1 Dulcolax every evening and have only had 2 bowel movements in like 6 days.

My mom has been texting me and has gotten me very very upset. I can't believe some of the things she has said when I am so sick and down.

I feel like I am screaming for help and none of my family is listening. They gave me an antibiotic through my iv before the surgery to help prevent infection. I was on a z-pak antibiotic a week before surgery. Why am I running a fever?

I am sooo scared and upset. I am trying to rest as much as I can but with family problems financial worries and feeling all alone, it is just too much for me to handle.

God plz help me I have to be there for my boys! I can't leave my boys without a mom. Plz!

Hugs! Hang in there. It will get better. I’m not sure why you are wanting to wean yourself from pain meds. At one week out, I was taking hydrocodone every 6 hours and flexural every eight hours. I knew I needed to stay ahead of the pain. My NS had me taking Miralax three weeks before surgery and I continued it for a month after. I was very worried about straining and causing a csf leak.

I can say my recovery was extremely smooth. I was driving at 2 weeks post op and back to work in 4 weeks. I made sure I followed my drs instructions diligently.

I’m very sorry that no one is helping. Hope things turn around for you quickly. Try not to over do things.




Can your husband take FMLA? My hubby was off 6 weeks with me. I guess mine was a little tougher than most, but I was in the hospital for a weeks…I was in recovery ICU for 3 days and then step-down for the rest. The day they were moving me to a regular room my dr sent me home because he was afraid of me getting an infection.

You should definitely call your NS ASAP…fever is not good. Even though I didn’t take pain Mede very often after the 1st week home, I slept a lot.I had to walk until I was tired, then rest (I slept) then walk some more…but I definitely couldn’t be by myself. Hang in there…praying for you!

I would call your ns one week after my surgery I started getting extreme head aches went to the er got a ct scan ended up it was a bleed from surgery and a clot, I was in icu for 10 days. So call a dr and ask also they could give you diff pain meds. That may help with the other problems.

I would definately call you ns. I was in hospital for 10 days icu for 3, I have been back to my ns 4 times since my op and having my 2nd post op scan in January because I have very odd post op symptoms.
Don’t stop the pain killers to early. I’m still taking paracetomol, steroids and tramadol now along with sleeping tablets.
It’s so hard to come through this surgery into the unexpected but let your body heal. If your family can’t help you or won’t tell your ns. they may be able to give you some advice or organise someone to come in and see you ?. My surgeon wouldn’t let me home until I was able to have someone with me. My huby had to do everything for me for 2 weeks.
It is difficult to not do to much and with a house and family to look after its not easy to stop but please do!
I really hope you find some comfort soon. Keep on at your surgeons if you feel so unwell like this they are the only ones who can try and find or sort things for us. Best wishes and hugs x

Dearest Tara....

What a year you have had!!!! you are a strong woman ..be proud of that..and a fabulous mom to your 2 boys.

Now it is time for you.....totally agree with what others have posted about calling the NS...a low grade temp may mean nothing..but it could also mean an infection s brewing...that is the last thing you need.

It saddens me so to hear that your mom and sister are being so selfish....it doesn't take a Masters Degree to figure out you need a loving, helping hand. But, Tara, I have learned long ago...some folks are just that way to everyone and try not to take it personally...easier said than done.

I am not sure if this is even possible...but....if your NS orders "Home care" will your insurance cover it.....for instance...when my mom broke her shoulder...a Home Health Care Agency came into the home...mom did not get all the services she could have b/c she had me!!LOL.

Since you are all alone...you may qualify...I do know that one criteria is that the patient must warrant a 'skilled professional' such as a nurse, PT, OT..I would push for the PT due to your dizzieness and balance....once you get a PT in the home for you..then you are ok'd for an aide...the aide can help you get meals, light cleaning, run near-by errands.

I would call the NS..tell him everything.......temp...you are alone all day...ect..He may even think you should go to an in patient rehab...which may not be a bad thing for you...lower the stress and get lots of PT.

Know you are not alone....I know that you feel you are....but we are here for you.

God Bless,



Tonya J. said:

You need to call your NS ASAP! Sounds like you may have an infection. You need help!!! Tell your hubby to get on his work phone and call your friends. You don’t want to end up back in the hospital. I know it’s rough but hand in there. I’ll be praying for you hun

I agree that you should call your ns and talk to them about what is going on and see if they can prescribe you something for your constipation. I know how it is to have no help or support from family. I only had 2 people to help me, and when I had my surgery NOBODY came except my mom because my kids wouldn't leave her alone about coming and one of my grandmothers. My family was so unsupportive that they didn't even send me or my hubby a text to see how I was. So I understand that, but I need to say that I think you are making a big mistake trying to take yourself off of pain killers so soon. I didn't have a BM for 7 days post op, but I didn't even think of weaning myself off of the pain killers (I needed them). Good luck!

1.call your ns

2. get back on your meds

3. get some miralax or other products of like

4. eat a higher fiber diet

5. tell your family to kiss your --------------------- oops,lol some people arent worth the aggrivation and no offence but they sure dont sound worth it--so you forget about them- ignore their texts etc..if they cant be there in your time of need they cant be there to make you feel bad either!!.....love yourself, your children and your husband, acknowledge some ppl make better aquaintences then friends.

remember even if your cell doesnt work you can call 911

I really hope you are feeling better, dont get too down find that strength inside you and you will pull the rabbit out of your hat once again (so to speak)

kit kiddo hugs

I am so sorry that your family hasn’t been there for you:( It still amazes me how selfish some people can be! I’ve learned who my real friends are going through this. I’m sorry that so many have let you down:( I wish there was something I could do to help you. You’ve been given some great advice on here. The only thing I can think to add…try “smooth move” tea for the constipation. It helps me when stool softeners don’t do the trick. I hope you feel better soon and get the care you need.


Hey Tara,

Hope today you are doing better.

Lisa..thanks..never knew 911 will work even if phone doesn't have minutes!! THANKS.

I forgot to mention that I use warm apple cider to help with bowel issues as well as "Senna"..cheap..sold at Walmart.

keep us posted...You are in my thoughts and prayers.



Tara- Hi after i replied yesterday I went looking through my journal to see what i did for constipation and here it is...LOL

Constipation (from my journal)

I am forever having constipation issues and i find if i eat higher in fiber foods like cheerios and certian breads iam OK,ever if i take 1 acidolphilus pill iam good, but those things like miralax binds me more-others seems to have great success with them. So what i found that works best for me is cheerios,breads, fresh fruits all kinds except bananas because they bind, occasional apple juice or cider & 1 acidolphilus pill. and if that is not working as it should gag down some grape juice-not sure why that helps force things through but it does.....and if all else fails i guess i could always resort to what i gave the kids prune juice-but lets hope i never have to do that cuz that stuff just smells nasty! Am told hot teas and other warm drinks help but iam not all into those things- now if a rum and coke would help me poop even with all my meds- i'd drink one or maybe 2 or 3 (hehe) in a heartbeat!! LOL. I believe while the key here is proper nutrition it is also proper hydration

Yup Lori that even includes unactivated/old phones as well as long as they are charged and turned on- thats what they give to the women who are beaten/in shelters so they can atleast call 911 if they need too. my husband works in that industry and says it works that way on ALL cell phones! even the ones that are PPM (pay per minute).


I hope this post finds you in a little better spirits. I feel so helpless for you. If you were closer, I would be there for you in a heartbeat. I'm not a real religious person, but sometimes, you just have to give your worries over to him. Somehow, someway - things will work itself out.

Keep pumping the water into you and the grains... Cheerio's work for me too - as does raisin bran, but I cant stomach soggy cereal so try some Raisin Bran Crunch or something like that. I haven't had the surgery but all the meds I'm on to keep semi functional do it to me too... Don't try Correctol becuz it is NOT gentle at all and pushing is not something that you want to do right now.

My thoughts are with you,


I’m sorry to hear that you are not getting the helpful need but as far as the pain meds try execdrin for migraines that helped Me. Also for constipation. Try eating apples or apple juice that also helped my bowels.