I had a major breakdown today. I just wanted to cover the window behind me and there is no one aroung to do things like for me. Just wanting to cover the window turned into things getting thrown around me crying and hating life. I'm still not doing good but the doctor gave me something for that. My number one thought was when I die the last thing I want to come out of my mouth is f**k u everyone. my head feeks like its swimming and I want to pull all my hair out. I want to roll up in a ball somewhere and wait for it to be over.
I’m so sorry. I wish I could take your pain away or make you feel better. I just want you to know someone hears you, cares and is praying for you.
thank both of you after I calmed down a enough I called my doctor and she told me that it was probley the percocet I have not had any today and was coming down so we stoped the percocet and she got me fioricet untill I get this out of my systems. Know matter how many times you tell a doctor that you have problems taking pain meds they all say this one is different. so now I can't take vicaden ocixcoton and percocet. I use to be a med tect years ago but arn't all these in the same family.
point is you know your body better then anyone else so why won't they listen to us.
I can't take topamax (seizures meds) I turn purple and itchie. so does the meen its ok to give it to me because they don't want to have to find something else for me to take. thats what it feels like everytime I talk to them about pain meds. next time they don't listen i'm going to have someone come in so I can throwup down the front of them maybe then they will listen to me.
I’m sorry. I’ll praying you find relief from the pain AND the side affects from the relief of the pain! Just keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass. It is rare for a day to be allowed more than 24 hours, so they really don’t have a choice but to keep on passing!
Sounds like you are in rough waters. When you get like this, try taking ten deep breathes into your belly. I know that it sounds corney and I would want to kill the person who said this to me when I feel like you do. However, the brain cannot both feel anxiety/anger and take deep breathes at the same time. It is an evolution thing. The deep breathing turns off the fight or flight or freeze mechanism in our brains (the amygdala) and let's our rational brain have a chance to take over. Then we are able to explore ways to problem solve and use our anger and frustration as an energy for healing, resilience, and perseverence. Plus, I know that when I have my "rage on" ... no one wants to be around me. Hence, perhaps getting a handle on the anger will make it easier for others to be helpful and present to you because, otherwise, most folks just bail. Chiari is a maddening illness - I know that much from the inside. So be gentle with yourself. Again, sorry that you are having such a rough time. I will pray for you today. Deep Peace, Fr. D
Hi TLJMPR,
It is totally normal to have very bad days. I am sorry yours was medicine induced. Please just know everyone here cares about you & honestly understands. I vented so bad one day I am still surprised everyone let me come back. It is great the Dr. took you off Percocet. I can't take that either. You may giggle if you want but it makes me itch so bad my eye lashes itch. Until that happens to someone you have no idea what agony it actually causes. I also do daily breathing exercises.I have been doing them since I was 10 years old. I am a classical musician. If you ever need to talk about anything please send me a message. This song says it all.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wG6Cgmgn5U
Tracy Z.
Thank you I know from my panic attacts that breathing is the best and first thing you do. Doctors tell you differant they want you to pop a pill first sign of having one. I have come a long way in two days I can set up again and have been given pain pills that are not narcs and tonight I feel so much better, and for the first time since the surgery I feel like if I keep putting effort into recovery I can feel like I did 10 years ago. I have not been this happy in weeks.
Fr. D said:
Sounds like you are in rough waters. When you get like this, try taking ten deep breathes into your belly. I know that it sounds corney and I would want to kill the person who said this to me when I feel like you do. However, the brain cannot both feel anxiety/anger and take deep breathes at the same time. It is an evolution thing. The turns off the fight or flight or freeze mechanism in our brains (the amygdala) and let's our rational brain have a chance to take over. Then we are able to explore ways to problem solve and use our anger and frustration as an energy for healing, resilience, and perseverence. Plus, I know that when I have my "rage on" ... no one wants to be around me. Hence, perhaps getting a handle on the anger will make it easier for others to be helpful and present to you because, otherwise, most folks just bail. Chiari is a maddening illness - I know that much from the inside. So be gentle with yourself. Again, sorry that you are having such a rough time. I will pray for you today. Deep Peace, Fr. D
thank you thank you It was just what I needed.
TracyZ said:
Hi TLJMPR,
It is totally normal to have very bad days. I am sorry yours was medicine induced. Please just know everyone here cares about you & honestly understands. I vented so bad one day I am still surprised everyone let me come back. It is great the Dr. took you off Percocet. I can't take that either. You may giggle if you want but it makes me itch so bad my eye lashes itch. Until that happens to someone you have no idea what agony it actually causes. I also do daily breathing exercises.I have been doing them since I was 10 years old. I am a classical musician. If you ever need to talk about anything please send me a message. This song says it all.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wG6Cgmgn5U
Tracy Z.