Talked to nurse.. Would like your advice please!

General
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I am so sorry to keep posting and complaining. I am just at a loss and I don’t know what to do. Please give me your honest advice/opinions even if you think it might hurt my feelings I don’t care! I just want to know what you would do if you were me…

So to sum it up my pain has been at a 10 no joke for over 24 hours now.

I called the on call resident this morning that told me I will have ups and downs and unless I have fluid coming out or a fever no need to go to the ER but to call the office when they open and talked to Nancy (dr Tews nurse)

So I called at 9 and left her a message. She calls back and I tell her how much pain I have been in since late Saturday night, and the pressure in my head regardless of what position I am in. She notices I am out if breath and I said yes because I just sat down and all the pressure goes to my head and makes me short of breath.

She asks the samething about leaks fluid redness throwing up etc. I say I have none of that just severe pain. We go over my meds… Her papers are different then mine… She didnt have the Xanax listed, didn’t have the full schedule of steriods and had that I only take 1-2 oxy every 4 hours.

I tell her about the huge mix up at discharge and how my paper is full of scribbles from the NP trying to figure out my meds and schedule before I left. I told her the NP suggested switching back to Xanax for two weeks instead of my kolonopin and that the surgery resident suggested increasing the oxy to 1-3 every 4 hours because of the amount of pain meds I was on prior to surgery and that that is also hand written on my discharge papers. It was like she didnt believe me so I said well ask the pharmacy when you call because my bottle says the samething!

She says all this pain makes sense because it started the day after I was done with steriods and I need to get back on those for a week… So she is calling those in to take 3 a day for 3 days then 2 a day etc for like another 10 days! She said that is my problem… I said well I only have enough pain meds for 7 days and muscle relaxers for 10 days total. She says you only get pain meds for a week… I said that isn’t what you told me, the NP told me, and my paperwork all says 2 weeks and no more then 4 weeks of pain meds. So I said what am I supposed to do in two days when these are gone and they can’t be called in? She says the script can only be written for 100 and if after steriods today and tomorrow morning the pain is still this bad we will discuss the pain meds then.

I told her I want her to be right and the steriods to make it better but if they don’t then I am basically screwed because my kids will be here, it’s a two hour drive there and I can’t and shouldn’t have to be in this much pain… As I was crying. She reassures me the steriods will “fix all of this” I told her I am just nervous because i have never felt pain like this before and with the kids and spring break coming in 3 days… Yes I have help but I still have to be a mom and function.

And she stressed to me in a big way, NO ER unless I have a leak fever or throwing up, not to go “just for pain” and she will
Call me tomorrow to see if it’s better and if not we will go from there.

I am at a loss… I just don’t understand.

My husband had an apt with our doc this morning and she asked how I was doing and he told her what all I just typed and even she said she can’t believe that is all they are doing and said no ER at all for pain. She did also say that they can call her to write me a script if needed which makes me feel a little better. I feel like I am being treated like a drug addict when I just had brain surgery! I know steriods can help and i sure hope it does like she assures me they will. I just don’t know how much more I can take… I took one and take another in 8 hours, so another full day of being this miserable.

I don’t want to go against her advice of no ER trips but it just doesn’t seem right!

Am I being a baby here? I really don’t feel like I am and I don’t feel that I am being over dramatic about the pain either, this is real, I am not kidding I am not lying, I am making myself sick to my stomach stressing over this.

And so depressed… Told my husband I should have listened to my gut after my first apt with dr Tew and switched doctors or waited to have the surgery. I know these feelings will go away, I know it will get better but in the mean time I am miserable stressed and depressed. I’d love to sleep the day away but even laying down causes a rush to my head.

Ok that’s my novel, please just tell me how it is, even if you think I am being a baby or over reacting, just let me hear it! I just need help, advice, reassurance, something!

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I wish I was able to offer advice but I'm just at a loss. I have a really pain tolerance so I'm not sure when the time for the ER is. I do know that I was warned that my pain would increase once I stopped steroids so hopefully they'll get you back to tolerable.

I honestly just think that they didn't take into account the amount of pain meds you were already on for migraines when making a pain management plan for you. Also I know a lot of doctors are under a lot of pressure to prescribe less narcotics as well. I live in WV and we have major problems with narcotic abuse so ER doctors basically will not give them here. In fact most regular doctors won't give them and if they do they call you in for random pill checks. If you fail to show up or if you show up and your pill count if off then they won't prescribe for you anymore. I think these types of things are good to prevent abuse but there are times, like brain surgery, when pain pills are needed and these policies can cause problems for the patient.

Did Nancy say if perhaps you could add in Advil or Aleve? That could possibly help with breakthrough pain? Did they give you valium? I found that worked better for my neck muscles than the muscle relaxer did. The arnica gel was helpful for me as well.

I hope the steroids help you get your pain under control!

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I do have Valium, 5mg every 8 hours that i take with the 1500mg of robaxin and yes those help for about 4-5 hours not 8! I tried to take them at different times but it didnt work at all so I went back on the hospital schedule of taking those together which is good for a few hours at least.

I agree they didnt take that into consideration even though we talked about it and had it on paper and in my chart on the 11th so a week before my surgery!

I understand the narcotic thing, but ovsiously that isn’t my issue as even my PCP offered to call. I have never ran out of pain meds or had to ask my doc to fill them early but again I have been seeing her for like 10 years now and on the same dosage of pain meds for 4 years… Well they increased from Vicodin 5’s to 7.5’s to 10’s over 4 years and the Percs for break through pain which I get 30 of those that last me about 3 months… So I know and my doctor knows I do not have an addiction or dependency issues with the narcotics. But I do agree I have a tolerance more then people who haven’t been on them which is why this was all discussed before surgery and more then once! Indian has pill issues too what state doesn’t any more lol

And no I can’t have anything else except Tylenol for another few days, no aleve or any NSAIDs yet.

And it gets better because now apparently nurse nancy called in different steriods so issue with my insurance… Omg so I talked to the pharmacist and said can’t I just have whatever it was Thursday?! He now has to call her back to switch it. I am telling you she had nothing right on her papers that were supposedly my discharge papers… Guess what… I was right and they aren’t the same and they screwed up like I told her and apparently didnt bother to make an updated copy for their own records!!! This is unreal!

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I think You should have more than one week of post op pain meds. I hope the steroids do get rid of the pain but if they don’t you CAN go to the Er or use your primary care doc to write the scripts. Sounds like they indeed had a real med mix up. My advice is to do what you need to do to keep the pain controlled, because if you don’t the anxiety will rowdy up and it is going to really interfere with your recovery. You need to be RELAXED! It’s ok to call your nurse when you feel something isn’t right, and you should. I too am having depression and anxiety (my heart rate has been really high for the past 3weeks and i cry about everything) and I’m feeling panicked because I’m still having pain. I too have some days with pain level at a 10. My nurse says its not abnormal to have severe pain even at 5 weeks post op. I hope you can try to stay calm, cause I think my recovery has been stunted because of my anxieties. Let us know how the steroids do I hope you feel better very soon.

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Thanks Jcdmre, I agree… Heck I had Vicodin for 10 days after I had two wisdom teeth removed lol and that was overkill! For me any way.

I have true major anxiety and have for years and been treated for years including an IOP program I completed to help with it. And when I have a major one I even hyperventilate and break out in hives as I did in the recovery room! It has been well managed for awhile now with the exception of pain. Like when I had the major headaches/migraines before I knew I had chiari I would be in so much pain I’d have an anxiety attack at work and end up getting a shot at immediate care.

I know I can go to the ER I just don’t want to feel like I am going behind their back or something I guess. But I completely agree, the more stressed I am dealing with all this and the anxiety it is causing me already it will do nothing but make it worse. I just can’t find my happy positive thoughts and breath through them like I can some times. My head and thoughts are all over the place in every direction and it won’t stop. So I don’t know what I am going to do.

Well I am going to take my muscle relaxers since its time for those and once they kick in I will at least get a shower today… Yesterday was the only day I didn’t shower brush my hair or even my teeth, just couldn’t do it how pathetic!

I really appreciate all the replies and your suggestions and advice. I really hope the steriods do work and hopefully sooner then 24 hours. I just want to be happy again like I was Saturday! Lol I was feeling good and thinking positive, now I am in circles.

I am sure I will continue to update, and hopefully my posts don’t become unwelcome by all the wonderful people here lol :slight_smile:



jcdemar said:
I think You should have more than one week of post op pain meds. I hope the steroids do get rid of the pain but if they don't you CAN go to the Er or use your primary care doc to write the scripts. Sounds like they indeed had a real med mix up. My advice is to do what you need to do to keep the pain controlled, because if you don't the anxiety will rowdy up and it is going to really interfere with your recovery. You need to be RELAXED! It's ok to call your nurse when you feel something isn't right, and you should. I too am having depression and anxiety (my heart rate has been really high for the past 3weeks and i cry about everything) and I'm feeling panicked because I'm still having pain. I too have some days with pain level at a 10. My nurse says its not abnormal to have severe pain even at 5 weeks post op. I hope you can try to stay calm, cause I think my recovery has been stunted because of my anxieties. Let us know how the steroids do I hope you feel better very soon.
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Never sick of the posts, that’s what this place is for, right? I’m not usually an anxious person but this recovery has triggered some sort if anxiety issue for me, so I can certainly imagine that it would be extra! difficult for a person who already deals with it. Ps, I read that you were upright the whole day before the pain started. That could easily be the main reason

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I agree with jcdemar ..your CSF needs to adjust . They should have had instructions to have you lay down flat no pillow like they have for a lumbar puncture. My surgeon and his team did a great job with my pre and post operative instructions considering this was my first "major" surgery.

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I wasn't given any instruction to lie flat and I didn't have any issues. I was given a pillow and allowed to raise my bed up right out of recovery. I was told to get up and walk as much as I felt able. So far I'm 5 months post-op and doing very well.

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Beeba, I am not sure that I feel something is not “right” or if it is just my anxiety in general taking over. And maybe because I honestly was not expecting this much pain and this much of a hassle through the entire surgery starting in the recovery room. And also paranoid and nervous about my kids being back full time. God knows I miss them greatly but I am worried about that.

I also had no instructions for laying flat. Dr Tews rules are out of bed 2 hours after being in recovery and walking a few times a day in the hospita. They had my bed upright as soon as I got to my room and walking the halls the next morning since u didnt get to my room til 9:30pm

I know sitting upright all day Saturday probably didnt help and had something to do with the pain all day yesterday. I had my kids for a few hours and I was feeling good and visiting and wasnt in any pain at the time… Yes I regret that now :slight_smile:

I am in Indianapolis so it’s about a two hour drive to mayfield for me.

Pharmacy just called and got the steroids figured out… Which as usual was not what nancy told me it would be lol it’s like never ending with stuff being changed and for a place that was so organized in getting everything started then it seems it all fell apart when it was time to schedule the surgery and downhill since then!

My pain is a little better actually, but I also cheated and took my hydrocodone instead of 3 oxycodone’s too. And I took a shower today. So I have hope that maybe just maybe I will feel better and maybe the extra 8 days of steroids will do me good.

I do really appreciate all of you, if I had the money and the means I would send every single one of you a gift in the mail! Lol I feel like all my “friends” have lost interest… Ya know how in the beginning it’s like wow brain surgery and seems like they all care and want to help and now it’s like well it’s over so who cares!

I am thankful to have a great supportive husband listening to me bitch too and my mom who is 3 hours away and feels helpless! But you all really “get it” and I am so glad I found these boards!

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Must have been a different route of surgery or yours wasnt as involed? Anglyn I guess I have always thought Chiari surgery involves CSF and the laying flat helps align the CSF flow I will have to do some research. I had a friend who didnt follow the laying flat and payed the price for it. I am glad that you feel a little better. Don't rush yourself we all recover differently.

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Liz, my CSF was only partially blocked and no syrinx with a 15mm chiari. Not sure if that has anything to do with laying flat either? I’m sure surgeons all have their different ways or beliefs of what is best though so who knows.

I believe mine was pretty “standard” or textbook chiari. When my son had his at 13 months old he didn’t have to lay flat either but was in ICU with bed lifted up too.

Interesting…

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Thank you Beeba, I love reading all your posts to people. Supportive yet direct which is the way I am! Lol

Unfortunately asking my ex for a few extra days isn’t an option, let me put it this way, nasty divorce. Several trips to court and still battling custody. I don’t want to risk that and sadly he IS the type that would hold it against me. My sister will be here to help with them and Adam is great with them too. But with their special needs my oldest will require more mommy attention.

You are right about the anxiety with them being here and running out of meds. I’ve never worried about meds before but I truly believe it is from this whole experience and my pain not being controlled from the minute I woke up. I’m not one that normally is scared of pain but will gladly admit I am with this now! So pathetic!

The steriods or taking the exact amount of pain meds on the dot has made the day more bearable that’s for sure, so I am feeling a little better actually… Hoping it stays this way tonight for sleeping too! Then I think I will be able to relax a little more and calm the anxiety in general. I don’t want an MRI right now that’s for sure lol I couldn’t even imagine that on top of this! You are one strong woman!

Thanks again for all the replies and support, day by day right… I have to keep reminding myself that the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t an illusion but the tunnel itself is.

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Never thought about the post traumatic thing… It is weird how I can remember the whole “staple” conversation clear as day and even hear his voice. When I had my first son I was treated for post traumatic stress… It was poorly handled and I went 8 hours without any news on my child until a doctor walked in my room full of people and announces “mrs… We are still trying to determine the gender of your child”. It was horrible, I had no idea what he was talking about as no one had any news to tell us for hours. Needless to say I was a mess and ended up with major depression and seeing a therapist not because I couldn’t accept his condition but because the way it all came about… Whole other story though to say the least. Lol

Is week two better I hope?! Lol I was hoping to be back to work at week 4 but I won’t push it or plan for it either at this point.

No baths yet, think it said 2 weeks on my sheet? I’d have to look to be sure but yea a hot bath with lavender bath salts would be amazing! No fancy tub but I don’t care lol I love my baths to help me relax and sleep! Can’t wait to get our hot tub!! Lol

So with the ice packs I have used them at night on my forehead when it was full of pressure. My sheet says 20 min at a time but doesn’t say to put it on my neck or shoulders or incision or where ever I want. Also says nothing about a heating pad but I figured if I can’t do a hot bath a hot heating pad must be a no no too?!

And I do not do well with lack of sleep… Sleepless nights with daily anxiety leaves for a moody mess of a woman! Adam has been amazing dealing with me though which is more then my ex ever did after my c-sections and other surgeries! Don’t know how I did it all on my own then with small toddlers or a new born and no help from my ex at all… He went back to work when our son was on A vent in the nicu and no he didn’t take off time when he was do ally released… Same thing for our second baby too that had medical issues with feeding tube and all kinds of fun stuff at home!

Any way, I have taken my second steriod today and will follow their schedule and hope to keep seeing improvements! I took a pic with a measuring tape to post lol. So with my son, his incision was also small/short right afterwards but his scar expanded from 3-4 Inches after surgery to about 6-8 once healed. I remember his NS saying that was normal for the scar to spread/expand during healing… Sooo will mine also get bigger? I mean it looks good, not too bad of a chop job haircut lol but I hope it stays the 3-4 inches…
426-image.jpg (1.9 MB)

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Now I will have to find you my sons pictures from right after surgery and as he got older! It definitely “expanded”. But little bitty still growing head too I guess so maybe that’s why… Hmm lol

My top layer should cover it once I can really brush and dry it if not my hair friend will do extensions lol I am very picky about my hair lol and mine is very thin and fine too!

Yes I’ve had my fair share of hospitals… 11 surgeries between both boys, 5 before my oldest turned 1 and 6 before my youngest was 18 months old and not talking tubes in ear surgeries lol

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I am a nurse and have worked with three different pain management physician groups. The worst thing about being on narcotics for any long period of time is that you become "desensitized" to them. It is VERY difficult to control your pain when you have any involved surgical procedure. I think it is an issue that most people do not realize until it happens to them. There really are not that many different oral narcotics that can be prescribed. It sounds like you have been on most of them both preoperatively and post op. Unfortunately, they will not be as effective for you. Please be aware that all narcotics do have some dangerous side effects, such as respiratory depression. Also, now they have reduced the amount of acetaminophen (Tylenol) that we can take in a 24 hr. period. They recommend no more than 4000mg. Please be aware that both Vicodin and Percocet have Tylenol in them. Just be aware of how much you are getting. You do not need any liver problems after all you are going through now. It does sound like you are on an awful lot of different medications that can all cause severe sedation. PLEASE be careful. I do believe your pain should be "bearable" and I pray you will soon turn the corner. My 5 yr. old granddaughter came home from the hospital after 4 days for her decompression surgery and all she would take is Tylenol suppositories! I know kids do better than adults, but that sounds too good to be true. Please take care and God bless.

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I agree with both of you! Which is why the painamagwnt was discussed with them on the 11th and I spoke with the anesthesiologist prior to surgery that day. It was more the resident surgeon after surgery and the NP the next day that “didnt see all that in my chart” who h is why he bumped it up the day after but he also said I’d be sent home with a break through medication in case I needed it at home.

Which my own fault for not asking before I left when we spent 45 min correcting the scripts that were written and upping the oxy by 5 mg which dr Tews nurse has no knowledge of when I talked to her but she did ask the pharm what was originally called in…

I know I have a tolerance mainly to hydrocodone because I have been on it every day for years… But Percs I could only take when absolutely necessary and to avoid the ER. Never took those anywhere but home and like I said 30 would last me around 3 months. The lortabs I have are 10/500 and I never took more then 3, and usually broke the second two in half at work to make it thru the day with still functioning, I knew my limits and when I needed no more and time to go home!

As for being on a lot of meds now, I don’t take mine, I take the post op ones I was given. Now I won’t lie. I have taken a lortab in between but it’s been no more then one and I was upfront with nancy on that one. It has the Tylenol in it and other then that I haven’t even tried Tylenol since hospital, it never worked and once I can take aleve I will try that instead! So my a heckle is like this…

8pm I take the 1500 mg of robaxin
5mg of Valium

Wait til 9 then take the pain meds and only been taking 2 not three oxy
Plus the 1mg of Xanax I’ve been on for years
1axative since I am going now
1 stool softener they gave me
And now 1 steroid with the Pepcid
And birth control

If I wake up in 4 hours which as you can see I do… I take 1 or 2 oxy

Then when I wake up usually again around hour 3. I wait til hour 4 which is around 4am
And it’s time for the robaxin and Valium and a pain pill IF needed, which I have skipped before.

And then in the morning usually hour 4-5 later it’s pain meds and poop pills and steriods

No muscle drugs again until noon since I take them at 4am ish

And of course the steriods are 3 times a day for two days so one more day of that
Then it’s 2 every 12 hours for 3 more days Etc to wean off those

So I am taking exactly what I am
Supposed to and when. I write them all down on my papers with the times lol I don’t want to take more then I should or forget when I took them. I am drug paranoid and can be very sensitive to some… So far I haven’t had any issues.

I know this week it will be time to cut back and not take 3 oxy at all but down to 2 and add an extra hour between so I can wean off those and I will!!

And yes I agree kids/babies handle these much better!! My youngest couldn’t walk because of his chiari and we had a reverse walker on order before we found out, surgery was two weeks later because it had to be done before his other surgeries could be and the miracle baby was also sent him on day 2.5 and WALKED 3 weeks later! Then it was more surgeries for other things and he had 3 surgeries in 32 days of each other and it was like nothing happened to him at all!

My oldest son had his first surgery at 6 weeks and did great then one at 5 months, 9 months, 10 months, 12 months and 18 months and he always bounced right back too!! They are both true miracles babies… We were told we had better odds at winning the lottery twice then my oldest son even being born with his genetics let alone surviving and beating the odds w wry damn day still!

My other surgeries besides c-sections were all laparoscopic 7 total with c-sections and never had pain management problems BUT all those were before I was on daily hydrocodone too! With both c-sections i left early since my babies left! My first I stayed 36 hours and signed a waiver to leave early, my second my dr knew I wasn’t hanging around and left before he was 24 hours old to join him at Riley! It was rough but with that I wasn’t concerned about me, I had my baby to focus on so I remember no physical pain for me and I remember not even taking the Vicodin I was given after 2 or 3 days!

Any way so yea I do understand and do agree but it was also discussed prior including the forms and a letter from my PCP that was faxed to them and I have a copy as well. I understand its still hard but they had the info they needed and basically the “plan” was not carried out from the beginning after surgery.

Soo now i try to go back to sleep again! Maybe I will
Get lucky and not wake up in 2-3 hours in pain waiting til I can take something!

PS
Beeba I have used an ice pack on the top of
My head tonight and noticed a difference! Hope it works again for me now!

Thank you both again, you all are such wonderful people and I plan to stick around even after I am through all this to hopefully help others as you all do! Such inspiring people on here. I think I would have lost hope And my sanity if it wasnt for this place! :wink:

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go to the er. I just came home from hopsptol today i was thare for 2 days for pain control. they told me i did the right thing by coming in! hope you feel better

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Thanks Emmaline, I was in a better mood/spirits yesterday evening thanks to all of you!!

Beeba, I am still managing, but still not as good as I felt Saturday! And still can’t sleep good or enough. A few hours, didnt go back to sleep til 4 this morning and slept another 2 then laid in bed off and on this morning.

Still in pain of course but not the freaking out what do I do pain! Lol haven’t heard from the nurse yet, she’s supposed to call today to check on me and the steroids or I am supposed to call this afternoon. Been doing less oxycodone since 4am too, but they are going to have to call me in something, I have two days of these I believe. Even if it is just the ok for my lortabs. Mainly again because of what is coming up after today and the weekend and all that good stuff. But I’m not really stressing it now… They either will or they won’t. And if they won’t I am sure my PCP will. So we will see how that goes too.

I am emotionally in a blah mood today… My husband irritated me which doesn’t happen very often and I just hate being stuck at home not being able to do my own thing ya know. And not going to lie… I have played with my hair trying to think of a good way to “hide” it this weekend when it will be 50 outside and with the boys. I am sure I already explained but I do not want them to know. I wore a hoodie Saturday for the few hours they were here which wasnt comfty at all but I can’t do that all weekend and not if the weather will finally be nice.

And I can’t get hair extensions until I can wash with regular shampoo and use product which is another week. So might make a trip to my hair girl to figure out cheap fake clip in hair or something. I know some people must think that is so petty or stupid, but it’s a hard situation to explain and I know how my kids are and I don’t want the extra stress from them or my ex. By the time I see my ex again For the boys therapies I should have extensions so no big deal.

Please don’t judge or think I am selfish… It really is a big deal to me and my family with everything my boys have been through. I’m not doing it just to protect my own feelings but also theirs.

Thanks for checking on me! Hoping I feel like a shower soon and a little better later but I am tired and sore from not sleeping I am sure! Lol

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I didn't have a syrinx either though now I am starting to wonder. My vision is getting blurry, I am seeing "floaties" and other wierd things and my balance is off..again. The pressure in my head seems to have increased too. The life of a Chiarian right?

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OMG you made me laugh Beeba with your story haha that is too funny! The steroids have made me a pig but so far not one pound gained!

I will jump to the kid questions first… My youngest who is now 8 and very much like his mamma is very outspoken. He had the surgery at 13 months old when he wouldn’t/couldn’t walk. Both boys had therapy every week… 8 of them. We assumed it was from all his other issues, tried nerves Eric and and finally ordered a reverse walker for him. Until a doc at Riley noticed one leg was point something of a CM longer then the other and his head had grown too much in 6 months. So MRI we went and found chiari and surgery a few weeks later… So why won’t I share? It was only December that he had his last break down in the car (before I knew about mine and I was always told thru all these years no chance I had it too) any way melt down because “why did you do this to me, can’t you take this thing out of my head” full blown tears. A few kids at the start if school always ask a million questions which is handles good in the beginning but the no football thing is what sets him off… Every… Time! And it’s always how WE did this to him and he really thinks his scar is the problem and we should be able to fix it. Now he is in special Ed BUT he is not delayed… He is smart, he is above grade level… Completely different medical issues and child compared to my oldest. So that day in December I had to really break it down to him which put me and him both in tears at the end. I finally told him it all… That if he did not have that surgery and the scar that he wouldn’t be walking at all… He would be in a chair like his buddy Joe and he would play NO sports! I showed him pics of kids with a reverse walker I showed him his pics of his braces… And that we did what we had to do so he could be the little active smart boy he is now. And I think he got it but still not happy about it. Because he isn’t “nornal” and I say no one is “normal” lol and he even tells me how no girl will like it his scar… Omg he is 8!! So went all into the scar thing and no big deal and it will be “cool” when he is older and has it and play basketball Etc…

So 3 weeks later I find out I have it and I haven’t researched in 7 years now and my own reality sank in… The guilt… I did this to him… And he would let me know it. I don’t want him to know right now because the issue is still very real for him… And also I don’t want to answer the question of yes mommy gave it to you. Not to mention ALL their medical issues… Is that From me some how too? Never did the testing because I didn’t care… Wouldn’t change a thing and still would have had another baby!

BUT my ex… Well he is a piece of work… And he knows nothing either… They think back/neck surgery. Why? Because sadly he is the type of person that if my youngest asked or cried or mentioned football again he would say “well if it wasnt for your mom you could have” in other words he would place blame any chance he got and so would new step mom who is now pregnant!

I just don’t want to deal or handle that right now for me or for my son. So to me I am protecting myself and Levi in a few different ways… Yes he will know… When the time is right. They both have a lot of medical issues they don’t even know about… Like that my oldest will never have children. They are in therapy and will told when they are old enough to understand.

And yes no extensions for another few weeks. I ended up buying an awesome wig for $45 that doesn’t sit on the incision but the hair covers good and even in a low pony tail. They knew mommy was getting long hair eventually any way :). Doesn’t even look fake and only need it for 12 days then they go back to dad for a few days and I should be closer to extensions by then.

Today I call nurse nancy about pain meds and see what she says… If she says no then I call my doc and see what she will so which since she knows