Tips for my Husband (Or who ever helps after surgery)

Hi all,

Thought I would have a little fun with this and ask for some tips I can give my husband - or anyone else that helps someone out after surgery.

I will be having surgery, hopefully, on the 22nd of this month, if my insurance pulls through for me.

So, for those of you that have already had the surgery, what advice would you like to offer my husband? I will pass along the information. LOL!

Good question. I am 1 month post-op and I know that my husband would love some advice. Please help!

My husband is a great guy but he's the worst at household chores. So basically I did a huge deep cleaning of the house before surgery. I also bought tons of paper plates, bowls, plastic cups, and utensils. I made some meals ahead and put them in the freezer. There are a lot of blogs with recipes for freezer meals that are handy!

A handy tip for people who have cats....they make disposable litter boxes. This was a life saver for me because I wasn't able to bend down and scoop and my husband is NOT a cat person. At all. This way he could just throw the whole thing away with very little interaction. lol

You are going to sleep... A LOT. That's normal for several WEEKS after surgery, not days but WEEKS! It was 4 weeks before I could go more than 4 hours without a nap. That is normal. It has nothing to do with not getting up or moving around enough (has everything to do with how much anesthesia you had!) Have a heating pad on hand and within reach all the time! You are given pain meds for pain. When you are in pain, take them! When you first get home from the hospital, take them BEFORE you're in pain. Use a dry erase board or notebook to keep track (let your hubby keep track and give them to you because days, hours, am/pm it gets confusing.) For a solid two weeks post-op, you are useless, completely useless, minus some medication induced hilarity. So as far as cooking, laundry, cleaning, even in-depth conversation goes, don't expect help from you. The first day or two at home, he will likely have to help you with EVERYTHING-standing, sitting, bathing, getting comfortable, etc. I was able to use the bathroom by myself.

Best suggestion for hubby---bring help! A mom, a friend, a cousin, a neighbor, etc. just to give him a little relief from you so that he doesn't start feeling like you're just whining.

My husband was godsend during my immediate post surgery recovery so we’re my 3 boys. I made sure everything was done and clean before my surgery so it was 1 less thing for him to worry about. And my children took turns doing chores for me. Unfortunately they ate a lot of microwave food those 1st 2 weeks.
Make sure he is with you when you shower until you feel well enough to so it on your own. Even now I won’t shower unless he is home because I still get light headed.
Have ice packs ready I found a good home made ice pack on pintrest 1 part rubbing alcohol and 2 parts water it make the flexible and not hard so they contour to your neck. Also I bought one of those bed chair pillows to help me sleep somewhat upright I wasn’t in as much pain that way. I got lucky as recovery went at first I was more hyper after the 1st week at home so my husband had to spend lots of time reminding me of what I couldn’t do and directed me in the direction of what I could do that wouldn’t hurt me.

Thanks for the advice. My husband is great and always telling me I shouldn't do so much. But at times I can tell that he is frustrated. We feel so alone. No one seems to even know what Chiari is. I only have him, so I try and tell him the things I learn and how fortunate I do feel at times. For me, the ice packs work really well. Thanks for the advice.

Tell him to not take anything you say or do personally in the first week post op. Having a strong support system and someone to stay home with the kids helped tremendously after my husbands surgery. This allowed me to stay at the hospital with him and concentrate on him. Also… He’s your advocate. If he doesn’t feel the hospital staff is addressing your needs or pain management then he needs to tell them. Don’t he afraid to speak up. My husband wS in horrible pain until I went in there and changed his medication schedule and dosage to what worked. My two cents… As the wife. Also, I didn’t allow visitors. We were married 2 days pre-op so everyone wanted to see us. I didn’t let anyone, outside of best friend and parents, visit him for at least a week.