Setting Limits

Hi Guys!!!

Just wanted to rant a bit..I know you all can take it and still love me!!!LOL

See, I am having trouble setting limits ...trying to be the best mom, the best daughter, wife..and now I think I may be ready for the funny farm..but there are none up here where I live!!!!LOL

I bumped into my Pastor and his wife last night ..while taking my daughter for ice cream....At first, to be completely honest...I was ready to tell hubby.."QUICK...Pull out before Pastor Ray sees us!!!"...See, we have not been going to service on a regular basis like we had been...when he asked why..and not in a judgemental way..a loving, caring way...I told him about me taking care of mom and the health issues I have been dealing with, ect...He was great...very loving as was his wife...

I spoke with Kathy, Pastors wife a bit..alone, last night ..and I told her I was having trouble setting limits and putting things of priority 1st..she totally got it....Funny, I believe last nites 'bumping into them' was a "God Thing" other was just meant to be that we see them...Like Pastor and his Kathy were telling me..all those negative thoughts I am having about going back to church is just a lye from the 'enemy'..who wants me to be away from hearing Gods Word....I so believe that..but, I needed to hear it, for some reason.

I hope I did not offend anyone by talking about my Christianity...this is not the forum to try and give my other words...convert anyone into Christianity....This is just me and my feelings on Jesus and the Bible....

I so need to set limits on trying to please others and putting things off that are so very important to me...Do any of you struggle with that??? See, I feel , at times, that I have put my family through so much with all my medical issues that I try to compensate by being accomadating to those around me, the best that i can..which in turn, "somethings gotta give" which is usually the last thing that should be set aside..ya know?? am i making sense??

Sorry for the ramble....what do you guys struggle with in this area..(only , naturally, if you feel comfortable sharing!!)LOL.....

Thank you all for being I feel kinda lonely too!!!

Love and Hugs,



First off, I know the lonely feeling. I feel that often, too. It's then that I need to remember to get on here and see that I am NOT alone! I have tons of chiari friends and "family". You do too:)

It is great that you ran into your Pastor & wife. As a pastor's wife, I would hope that no one would say "quick get out of here, there's Pastor Alex & Carla!" even if they have not been attending church. We love them all the same whether they are there every Sunday or not. Listen to your pastor and I'm glad that you realize that when we don't attend church, it is just easier and easier not to go. Especially when we don't feel good. I try not to miss unless I am really down and out, like can't get out of bed. I always feel better after having gone to service:)

Priorities are hard to set and to keep in the right order. I try to remember the following 1) God, 2) Family, 3)Career/Job (which would include taking care of your mom and housework!) = a happy life. Everything else comes after that. It helps me when I am having trouble deciding what is the most important.

You are an amazing woman, Lori. You handle so much in your life and in the life of others. I really admire your strength and faith to keep going. Hang in there! I hope that you do make it to service tomorrow. I know it will bring a smile to your Pastor and his wife, Kathy.


Dear Lori and Carla

While I always enjoy going to church, I don't always make it either. My husband goes every Sunday because he serves as an usher. Unless I'm awake, he won't always wake me up, especially if I've had a rough night sleeping. If I don't go, I usually turn on Joel Olsteen and listen to him and I feel I get my spiritual message for the Sunday. I always like to go, but sometimes the body just doesn't cooperate. And. while it's important to congregate with other like believers.....we can always talk to God no matter where we are.....he's very loving and understands our limitations.....he does! I feel I have my guardian angel with me always.....I have survived too much over the years.... so I know I'm being taken care's just a peace that I have. I guess I never thought of it as part of setting's just a part of me no matter where I am.......I do understand what you are talking about though; I do sometimes feel bad if I don't make it to the "building".

It seems Moms are so busy now adays. I get tired just reading on Facebook about all my daughter does as a working mom and a full time's hard. Added to the fact that this Chiari stuff makes you tired, it's hard to do everyting. Spouses need priority and children by nature take a lot of energy to care for. Add an illness to that and it's overwhelming. There are so many demands on you physically and mentally. Sometimes we just need a break and Sunday is the only day most moms get to do that.....I don't think you need to feel bad about being human sometimes......I personally believe God understands if we just can't make the body and mind cooperate all the time....I hope you won't beat yourself up over it either.



Dear Carla and Shirley....

Thank you so very much for replying....You both really helped me with your words and own experiences!!

God Bless ya's!!!!



I love you, Lori! You really are an amazing woman and I admire you so much. Did you have a good weekend and take some time for yourself? I hope so!


Hey Abby and Carla!!

You guys always know the right thing to say!!! God bless ya's.....I really don't know what i would do w/o this site....everyone really cares and 'gets it'!!!! sO, i NEED TO THANK YOU ALL HERE!!!

Love you !!!!


Hello Lori I hope you are doing ok today I have had the same problem lately notgoing to church like I use to I feel like I am lying when everbody ask how i am doing and I just put on y smile and say i am doing fine I also feel gulity about geting on pain med I was hopeing that God would heal me if I had enough faith and feel like I let him down by getting on pain med s far the med they have put me on hasnt helped so I just dont know I live in a small town and dont wont people to think I am just trying to get high I put on a good show like I am not in pain when i am out in public but dont get out a whole lot I dont realy understand why this happened but I guess none of us do I would have liked to do things like heling people who dont have heat in there house with insulaction but that is not going to happen no time soon I have been going to the nursing home and setting with and talking with some people and talking to them but I wished I had more to offer I tried to paint one womans nails they looked terrable and it hurt my back so I know that is not my calling I am kinda of a tomboy I never paint my nails but I know this has made me have more compasion for peolpe who is pain and if I didnt have this I do believe would just take things for granted so at times I thank god that ge got my attion but on thosedays that the pain is so badI cant sayI feel the same way just know you are not only and you are in my prayers love Angela


God Bless you...going to the nursing home and doing nail...a bet the folks there could care less how the nails come out..just your company is the best medicine for them!!! What a good person you are..God is smiling down on you.

By taking pain meds, my opinion here....doesn't mean I don't have faith in God...just like if I were diabetic and took insulin..

I just read in our local paper this little ditty..I laughed my butt went like this:

This blind woman went to church one Sunday and another church goer said...."If you had more would not be blind!"..Naturally, the blind woman was so upset..she searched out her Pastor later that day and told him what was said to her...the Pastor responded..."Well, my dear...the next time you see this woman, hit her over the head with your white cane and tell her.."If YOU had more faith that wouldn't have HURT!!!'...

I hope you have a decent day....I am heading over to my sisters to care for my mom...try to get online there....

Blessings to everyone!!!



Abby, I laughed so much when I read that too!!!

What are everyones plans for this long w/e??? I will start a discussion on that...because I am nosy!!!!!!!

Love ya,