With my surgery 12 days away, (doc says myopathy should not be a problem) I am starting to get very nervous. I know fear prior to such a major surgery is common, but how due you deal with it? I have tried prayer, meditation, relax, extra sleep, some cooking (which is usually a giant stress relief), loving and hugging my kiddos and so forth. However I can not rid myself of the impending doom feeling that I will be worse of afterwards and will regret having the surgery.
Don't get me wrong I will still go through with it unless something major, major like floods, pestilence, the plagues, etc (yes I am exaggerating a little but you get the idea). It is too the point where I am being an a--hole to my wife and sometime to the kids. I know they (Chrissy and Katrina) are having difficulty to their growing medical concerns. I mean Katrina really spazzed out this morning over having to get another EEG and take yet another med. I really can't blame her but my reaction I really blame myself, cause their is no one else to blame. I should not have yelled or threatened severe punishment for not listening, especially after she ate she was a calm and pleasant child as she usually is. It has been a brutal war of words between Chrisy and I.
What has worked for you? Is all of this worry for nothing, since I have confidence in Dr. Bejjanii? Am i just going crazy with fear?
I completely understand what you mean. I am now 9 days out from surgery and find myself doing the same thing. I am so worried and having a lot of problems keeping myself relaxed. The smallest thing irritates me. Tonight I came home and had this kids go play in their room, because I just need to get control... I think that is why I am getting so irritable, the thought of losing control of things and not being able to do things on my own once the surgery is done...
Michael I am here to talk if you just need someone to talk to... we can get through this. Thoughts are with you.
I’m sorry to hear that things are so stressful for you and your family. I have yet to have surgery so I can’t speak from experience, but I can only imagine that this is totally normal.
Hopefully you guys find peace soon. Best of luck!
Trust that all will be well. I am 6 weeks post-op. the surgery was NOTHING ...not as bad at all from what i hear others say. When you write somethign down, it's interpreted literally and to start, there is only the english language in between two people to express such things as vague as pain, fear, emotions, etc. Everyone experiences it different. Mine was SO much easier than i had anticipated. And considerign how fearful you feel right now, you will be happily surprised when it's over. If that thought doesn't work, remember that your emotional state going into it is important for your body.. you need to be mentally open to allow your body to receive the care it will get from the surgery. It sounds crazy, but i talked to my body before the surgery and explained to it what was going to happen and "asked: it to receive the surgery and not resist it. Does that make sense, as crazy as it sounds? try it. I was trembling and shaking in the prep room, but once i realized i wanted to be aware and open to the experience since you only do this once in your life, i started to relax and look around. Don't be afraid. Look forward to it. You are actively taking steps to get yourself better. You are in control. :)
Trust that all will be well. I am 6 weeks post-op. the surgery was NOTHING ...not as bad at all from what i hear others say. When you write somethign down, it's interpreted literally and to start, there is only the english language in between two people to express such things as vague as pain, fear, emotions, etc. Everyone experiences it different. Mine was SO much easier than i had anticipated. And considerign how fearful you feel right now, you will be happily surprised when it's over. If that thought doesn't work, remember that your emotional state going into it is important for your body.. you need to be mentally open to allow your body to receive the care it will get from the surgery. It sounds crazy, but i talked to my body before the surgery and explained to it what was going to happen and "asked: it to receive the surgery and not resist it. Does that make sense, as crazy as it sounds? try it. I was trembling and shaking in the prep room, but once i realized i wanted to be aware and open to the experience since you only do this once in your life, i started to relax and look around. Don't be afraid. Look forward to it. You are actively taking steps to get yourself better. You are in control. :)
I couldn't do any better than Beeba. That was awesome. The only other thing I could add is a Bach Flower Essence Remedy called Rescue Remedy. It's a liquid and you put a few drops under your tongue and it helps calm nerves some. They sell it at health food stores and at my local grocery in vitamin section also on web.
I don't even have a date yet for mine and I'm nervous. I went through it once before but like Beeba it happened so fast I didn't have time to think about it. I am saying prayers for you Michael and sending you energy. You have alot of people that love you and that's not going to change. Your kids are probably worried about you having the surgery too. So they might act out in the next few weeks too. We are all here for you. ........Wendy
Beeba said:
Having done this twice - first time was so quick there was no time for me to stress but while I was in the hospital a closet door was replaced and there was some rumor of daddy breaking his hand. So I guess we know how he dealt. Second time I did have time to prepare and I was climbing the walls. I really wanted to sit and enjoy the family but the things that normally would roll off just set me off. I was so horrible the day before surgery my sweet,nice (not the average 12 year old girl) was looking at me with such dislike I had to remind her to stop thinking what she was thinking because I didn't need someone wishing me death at that moment. Looking back and being 12 I guess I can't blame her. I think it is torturous to wait. Once the decision is made you just want it done the next day!! But all I can say is I am a good parent and the good far outweighs the bad so we have to forgive our own human reaction to something terrifying. Our kids do forgive and forget. We can do 100 good things for our children and that 1 bad moment can keep you up at night. I think part of the stress in the marriage comes from - there is usually a division of labor in most happy homes. My husband knows I don't do the trash I know he doesn't vacuum that is why we have been married for 23 years. But when this happens all of a sudden the apple cart has been dumped. HE hasn't been to the grocery store really for necessity ever all of a sudden BAM he is the mom. Not as easy as I make it look. Plus he still has to be the dad and do his job. The whole thing just completely disrupts the normal flow of the house. But I can say it does all settle down once it is over and in many ways he has a new respect for how strong I am and what i do and I fell deeper in love with my biggest supporter and advocate. Michael - just so you can sleep well say sorry to your daughter for losing your cool - I bet she throws her arm around that big neck and hugs you like crazy - all is forgiven. As for your wife - apologize even when it isn't your fault coming from a woman it is always your fault - sorry that's just nature. Lol your wife understands and she will appreciate your effort at peace. It is so stressful - cut yourself some slack and know it gets better. I wish you all the best and a speedy recovery.
I couldn't do any better than Beeba. That was awesome. The only other thing I could add is a Bach Flower Essence Remedy called Rescue Remedy. It's a liquid and you put a few drops under your tongue and it helps calm nerves some. They sell it at health food stores and at my local grocery in vitamin section also on web.
I don't even have a date yet for mine and I'm nervous. I went through it once before but like Beeba it happened so fast I didn't have time to think about it. I am saying prayers for you Michael and sending you energy. You have alot of people that love you and that's not going to change. Your kids are probably worried about you having the surgery too. So they might act out in the next few weeks too. We are all here for you. ........Wendy
Beeba said:
Having done this twice - first time was so quick there was no time for me to stress but while I was in the hospital a closet door was replaced and there was some rumor of daddy breaking his hand. So I guess we know how he dealt. Second time I did have time to prepare and I was climbing the walls. I really wanted to sit and enjoy the family but the things that normally would roll off just set me off. I was so horrible the day before surgery my sweet,nice (not the average 12 year old girl) was looking at me with such dislike I had to remind her to stop thinking what she was thinking because I didn't need someone wishing me death at that moment. Looking back and being 12 I guess I can't blame her. I think it is torturous to wait. Once the decision is made you just want it done the next day!! But all I can say is I am a good parent and the good far outweighs the bad so we have to forgive our own human reaction to something terrifying. Our kids do forgive and forget. We can do 100 good things for our children and that 1 bad moment can keep you up at night. I think part of the stress in the marriage comes from - there is usually a division of labor in most happy homes. My husband knows I don't do the trash I know he doesn't vacuum that is why we have been married for 23 years. But when this happens all of a sudden the apple cart has been dumped. HE hasn't been to the grocery store really for necessity ever all of a sudden BAM he is the mom. Not as easy as I make it look. Plus he still has to be the dad and do his job. The whole thing just completely disrupts the normal flow of the house. But I can say it does all settle down once it is over and in many ways he has a new respect for how strong I am and what i do and I fell deeper in love with my biggest supporter and advocate. Michael - just so you can sleep well say sorry to your daughter for losing your cool - I bet she throws her arm around that big neck and hugs you like crazy - all is forgiven. As for your wife - apologize even when it isn't your fault coming from a woman it is always your fault - sorry that's just nature. Lol your wife understands and she will appreciate your effort at peace. It is so stressful - cut yourself some slack and know it gets better. I wish you all the best and a speedy recovery.
1st off...You are WAY too hard on yourself ...all parents and spouses loose their cool every now and then..given the situation you are in I am sure your wife and kids understand that you are on your last nerve....I am sure you told them you were sorry..and you were sincere about it..that I know is 100% the way it went b/c I think I have gotten to know you pretty well!!
This is just my own opinion..I think it is pretty natural to be concern over the surgery..but I must say that the art of distraction worked well for me before my surgery...I did mindless things to keep myself busy..I knitted, I picked weeds out in the yard for hours ( the only issue with that was...I paid for it later..tough getting up and down)..night time was the hardest for me back then...my mind raced...At bedtime I used aromatherapy ..burned all kinds of different oils..this kept my mind going..researching which oils worked best for this and that...honestly, the oils did help some..sounds all earthy and stuff but it was interesting and my home smelled pretty darn good, I thought...my family let me have it when I mixed too many oils and the entire house reeked.
So my friend...you are normal!!!! But I hate too read that you are so anxious...try the distraction game...you write beautifully.....maybe that could be your saving grace.
Please know that I am here for you and you are in thought and prayer.