I'm sorry I haven't been on in a while, it's just been a real struggle post-op trying to get mobile again. Don't get me wrong the surgery couldn't have gone better as a lot of my symptoms have either disappeared or have been greatly diminished. The only thing that haunts me is my old friend Mr. Tinnitus. He just won't quit.
To be honest I have been really struggling with depression and what seems like brain exhaustion. I get so many things going in my head that I get exhausted. But my mind is running wide open so it's hard to throttle it. I get so spent or tired or fatigued that depression creeps in. Is this normal? Now that's a loaded question huh?
I don't know, I just can't seem to get over the hump, back to happy. I guess I shouldn't complain, I am walking again and talking pretty good. My memory is better as is my vocab. The biggest thing for me was the distant memory of one of the really good headaches (ouch). I haven't had a one since my surgery.
Don't mean to bother but wanted to know if anyone has experienced anything like this. Take care and know it's gonna get better.
There is also a strong connection between tinnitus and depression. So I am sure that is not helping your situation. :( There is no particular definition of normal once you have been diagnosed with Chiari. There is no set standard for healing or symptoms. I know the more symptoms I struggle with the 'foggier' I become. I also get over emotional when I am dealing with symptoms. I also have a particularly hard time trying to clear my mind to sleep when I am batting symptoms. It feels like a brutal, vicious cycle. The more symptoms I have the more depressed, confused, and emo I become. Then because I am depressed, confused and emo everything seems to bother me that much more.
Unfortunately, there are no simple answers. For me, I have been working on increasing my physical activity and I write. I write anything, everything. I scream in my journal where no one can hear me. I say really nasty things that I am thinking but would be ashamed to admit. It seems to help put things back into perspective for me.
Glad to hear that the headaches are a thing of the past!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!! That's very exciting!! :)
BTW, you're never a bother! We are here to support each other and feel better about the things we struggle with. Have a great day!
(BIG TEAR(s) in my eye) Thank you so much for responding. Sometimes (lie, its always) I just need an ear or a hug.:) I'm going to try the writing and exercising, it sounds helpful. Thank you.
shalunya said:
Bob,
There is also a strong connection between tinnitus and depression. So I am sure that is not helping your situation. :( There is no particular definition of normal once you have been diagnosed with Chiari. There is no set standard for healing or symptoms. I know the more symptoms I struggle with the 'foggier' I become. I also get over emotional when I am dealing with symptoms. I also have a particularly hard time trying to clear my mind to sleep when I am batting symptoms. It feels like a brutal, vicious cycle. The more symptoms I have the more depressed, confused, and emo I become. Then because I am depressed, confused and emo everything seems to bother me that much more.
Unfortunately, there are no simple answers. For me, I have been working on increasing my physical activity and I write. I write anything, everything. I scream in my journal where no one can hear me. I say really nasty things that I am thinking but would be ashamed to admit. It seems to help put things back into perspective for me.
Glad to hear that the headaches are a thing of the past!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!! That's very exciting!! :)
BTW, you're never a bother! We are here to support each other and feel better about the things we struggle with. Have a great day!
I'm AWESOME at hugs!!!! I'm pretty good at listening too. Actually the reason I like to help and respond to these things is because it reminds me that I am doing okay myself (sometimes I forget). It's easy to get caught up in feeling sorry for myself because I am 'different' or because I can't do certain things. I admit I let myself get drawn into that. So each day I make a effort to find reasons to smile. I count my blessings because they are important.
Bob, I can relate to the tinnitus, although I only had sporadic tinnitus prior to my surgery 16 months ago, it has been non-stop since then. The ENT doc did an MRI a year ago and told me everything is just fine and I could go to a specialist that would train me not to hear the ringing, unfortunately it's not covered by any insurances though, but if you have an extra $12 grand, you are good to go!!! LOL I almost fell on the floor, I looked at her and laughed and said - so what you're telling me is that I need to get used to this, right? This morning I went in for 3 MRI's, Thoracic, Cervical, and Brain (with and without contrast), Let me give everyone here a big hint - DON'T EVER DO ALL THREE OF THESE AT ONE TIME!! Wow, I didn't know if I was going to make it out of that tube!! And all I can think, is that they are going to come back and tell me nothing is wrong, what do I do then? I'm so afraid right now, I could just curl up in a ball and cry! Sorry, I have gotten off topic. Tinnitus, I have gotten in the habit of always having some sort of "white" noise in the background like a small fan or a stereo playing at a low volume, just so that I have something to focus on when the ringing gets to be too much. It does seem to help. Good Luck and Take Care! Hugs coming out to you, all will be well!
I had my surgery on December 2nd and I am still having issues with Tinnitus. It actually got worse after surgery, but seems to be letting up slowly. I also had problems with major depression. I was so hopeful that the surgery was going to be a cure all. The let down from that was enough to send me into depression. It is very hard to bounce back, it takes time! Everyone kept telling me that but I wanted it to get better, faster. Give yourself time to heal and take it easy. My heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my prayers. HUGS!!!!