Am I Crazy?!

Has anyone with Chiari had some serious mood swings, depression, etc? I feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel like my symptoms are getting progressively worse. Ringing in the ears has gone to complete lose of hearing for maybe a minute at a time, stiffness in my neck is a daily occurrence, I can hear even more crackling noises and sounds of fluids in my neck. The mood swings and depression are getting worse which in turn makes the headaches worse. I literally feel like I'm going crazy. I have not had my decompression surgery yet, I'm waiting to get an appointment for my second opinion because the first NS was a D-bag. I have been trying to distance myself from people as much as I can because I'm extremely irritable and have a harder time keeping the crazy in check. My neighbor made the mistake of knocking on my door last night at almost 9pm, waking me up and making my dog bark and waking up my kids, complaining about some damn cats and I freaked out just a little then went inside and cried for an hour. Please someone tell me they have been through this so I know it'll go away after the surgery. I used to have extreme anger issues, which led to drinking. That pretty much went away when I quit my high stress job and I quit drinking (almost been a year). Now I feel like the anger and mood swings are coming back with a vengeance. Could this be like a seasonal thing, the heat making symptoms worse?

To add to the depression and mood swings I have been extremely forgetful with is also getting increasingly worse. Another reason I feel like I'm going crazy.

You're not alone! I am having the same problem. I have become much more irratable, and snappy. It's not like me at all, and I feel so bad for my husband. Sometimes he doesn't look at me the same anymore and I've feared he will leave.

Beeba said it perfectly! I asked my dr the same thing and he put his hand on my shoulder and said "you're in near constant pain and not sleeping properly. You're not crazy!" He told me that is a lot for someone to have to live with and it's just wearing me down physically and emotionally. He even told my husband at one of his appointmentsto be patient with me and to try and be supportive and patient with me.

Thank you for posting this! I think we all need that reminder sometimes, that we're not alone and we're not crazy. Best of luck with your next appointment. I hope this Dr. is better than the last.

Thank y'all!! This did make me feel better. It's just been such a roller coaster and it's gotten worse the past week or so. I get frustrated and when I'm alone I flop around and flail like a little kid throwing a temper tantrum. I just hope I can keep the crazy hidden. When I feel one of the mood swings coming on I tell my husband I love him and give him a kiss and tell him I'm not stable right now so leave me alone. He respects it. LOL he's been through two pregnancies with me too though. It's funny because when I'm having a hard time I have no tolerance for anyone but my boys. They are 5 and 6 y/o. Last night they came up to me and asked if I was ok, this was prior to the neighbor. They can tell when I'm having a hard time and they come and give me kisses and snuggle with me until I start acting better. God gave me them to help me through this for sure. God gave me my husband to see my crazy and still love and support me. :D And God gave me y'all to support me through the things I don't like to share with my family. :D Thank you guys again.

Hi...

You have such a great spirit about you..I so admire you.

It took a lot of courage to talk about the mood swings and depression..I can 100% relate to both...

For me, I had to stop the pain medication I was taking as it was causing major anxiety and mood problems. It was so lonely going through that.

I am so happy that your husband is so understanding. I think you need to cut yourself so slack! You are a wife and mom to 2 small kids...even if you didn;t have Chiari....as much as you adore and love your kids...a 5 and 6 yr old..Sweet Jesus...they do not stop at that age!! It is a wonderful age..BUT...when you are not feeling good...that's another story...I remeber those days...my girls are now 13 and 16...they give both great joy and great worry...each age group has their own set of issues , if you know what I mean.

Keep posting here...it does help to get stuff off your chest...and know you are not alone in what you are feeling, ya know?

Oh , yeah....YOU ARE NOTTTTTTTTTTTTT CRAZY!!! I am not sure about myself..jury is still out on that one...will let you know what the verdict is when the jury comes back!!!

Oh, 1 more thing..you and your family are just beautiful,

Take care,

Lori

I can definitely relate! I have a 5yr old, 6yr old, and 10yr old, AND all the mood swings, anxiety and depression that comes with the constant pain, forgetfulness, ringing in the ears, neck/back/head pain, etc...I really do know how you feel! Try to cut yourself some slack, and know that, just like the rest of us, you are DOING THE BEST YOU CAN IN THE MOMENT!!! Be kind to yourself, and thankful for the support you have, and try to remember you are not alone! For me, that is one of the things that helps the most - just knowing everyone on here truly understands.

Thank you for sharing your "crazy" with us! Feel better!

i had my surgery January of last year. I take it day by day never no what to expect. I do feel like I am going to loose my mind or mental break down sometimes. I cant understand the surgery was supposed to help fix things I still have bad neck pain pain on the right side of my head and ear. had a bad pop in my right ear the other day it is so sore I cant hardly swallow. last couple of days have been kind of bad. to top all that off my husband told me I was just going to have to deal with it I think that was the wrong thing to say he does not understand what I go through everyday I keep my pain all to myself cause he thinks I am complaining.

I really do appreciate all the support on here. @ Beeba, I just got done with that cause that's what I was thinking too. @goingcrazy, I'm sorry to hear that. I know I try to not say stuff to people a lot because they say oh you're just having those symptoms because that's what you read and they just think so what you have a headache. Yeah a headache everyday of my life!!!! Nobody will ever understand what we go through daily I guess. I know when I feel like I'm at my wits end I get on here and talk it out with you ladies and the select few men. It makes me feel better and not be so angry about my lack of support outside of this support group.

yes I understand what you are saying I do the same thing try not to say much cause it makes me feel like I think my husband thinks I am making it all up. the thing about it is he is hardly ever here he works out of town I do this on my own. does your neck get real stiff and feel like you have pressure in your head.

I haven’t had the surgery yet but my neck does get real stiff and I do feel pressure in my head. It feels like i can feel all the blood running through my head.

i already had the surgery jan of 2012. I have a new neurologist and I am very impressed with him. but I still have a lot of trouble with my neck and headaches sometimes its like shooting pains on the right side of my head.maybe it will get better in time. thanks for the information

I was going through that too! I would just have to go to my bedroom and be away from everyone. It was awful and I know what you mean about feeling bad for your husband. I always felt bad for my kids and my husband but thankfully he is very supportive. At my consultation with my NS I asked him the same thing and his response was that the anxiety, depression, and irritability are secondary symptoms of the Chiari. You are like that because you are in pain all the time. I am just 2.5 weeks post op, and I can say that feel very depressed right now, but I read that that is normal after brain surgery. I have not had the irritability like before though which is nice. I’m looking forward to feeling great again!

I am so glad you posted this! I am new here and have been watching the forums closely but not too sure how to broach the subject myself. I have had many of the same symptoms extreme headaches, a buzzing in my ears that is driving me mad, numbness in my face and right side, memory loss, saying the wrong words, loss of vision, loss of hearing, when i walk im like a car off balance and pulling to the right for some reason I could go on all night. I was recently diagnosed after what seems like a struggle of five years not only with the medical field but with friends and family to believe me that something was wrong. I told them when it started that something was off but no one would listen until i presented with stroke like symptoms. The depression slowly progressed with the symptoms but it was the first noticeable thing for me. The depression and panic attacks were so out of character for me. Lately it has gotten out of control and it was almost overnight. Once i was diagnosed they put me on Wellbutrin Xanax Trileptal Topamax Vicadin & Flexeril, I dont know if im coming or going. I am barely functioning at work. At this point I cant tell anymore if its the chiari causing the depression or the cocktail of meds they have me on I was never this bad before. I find myself crying for no reason these days and i dont mean just tears i mean inconsolable sadness. I know there are days I feel I dont want to keep doing this anymore and I cant get the doctors to listen. It seems none of them want to be the one to take control and say that what each other has prescribed isnt working together. Im not sure how to explain it to my husband but I am afraid for the first time and its not of the disorder its of the treatment. Tomorrow I finally have an appt with a neurosurgeon and im praying he will listen to me. I just wonder has anyone else had this type of experience with the medications?