Advice needed, be blunt and brutally honest I can take it (very long sorry)

Hello again to all my old friends and the new people here, WELCOME ~ if you need anything just ask.

Anyhow, many of you read or commented on my latest internal meltdown. Well lets says the reactor never got fully shut off and it is in overdrive with impending implosion or explosion. Either way there will be/would be a lot of damage it it happens. I am trying to avoid the damage and the resulting picking up of pieces that will be scattered far and farther and placing several things very dear to me in jeopardy of me losing them. For those who know me really well, you know what I hold most dear.

Anyhow, this individual when teamed with wifey drives me absolutely INSANE. First, if you did not know it, most of my activity on facebook is playing games, like mafia wars, the ville, mob wars, etc... Well playing a game yesterday before going to bed I hear over my shoulder, should he be playing that game. People are kissing and other things (honestly it is not graphic you see more on TV and all the game characters are cartoons). So I switch to another game and get asked whats with the dragons? I ignored the comment and switched again and heard on how violent mafia wars and just heard clucking like an old person like that not very good type of cluck. So I out some games on auto and then went to bed.

Next day, to keep myself out of trouble I only speak to the kids. Trust me it is safer for me cause my mouth can fly and say some things that I will regret later (in several months if that soon) but feel so good to say. Anyhow make mention of going to work in the garden, and again, that's not a good idea. you might hurt yourself. mind you the last post about being in the garden, I found my limit, I did not feel bad after that day and no really adverse returning symptoms. So I went back to the room where I am sleeping put on the AC and ignored all, only came out to use the bathroom and maybe get some food. This is getting to me so bad I am done to one meal a day if that.

Continues today, of all f%&&%ing things of where to sit in the car. Chrissy was already in the front seat, so naturally I sat in the back, while the other individual drives (another point I disagree with; I can drive; I will not drive at night for safety reasons). Needless to say the commentary from the front seat is he can't sit back there that long (Chevy cavalier 1 high back child seat (Emma's) a Booster (Trina's) and me Look at profile I am not that small). Anyhow I make the comment that I sit in the back, drive to where ever you want to go and I will not complain and I did not. I was not really uncomfortable all I had to do was stretch my hand and place it on the back window ledge above the seats no problem. Check engine light is on in car and windshield is cracked and I need to get my prescriptions filled, been waiting for 3 days now and one is my painkiller. SO I said I will go get the windshield fixed, have the check engine light fixed/looked into, and get my meds. NOPE, I was told and reinforced by wifey that I was in no shape to drive. SO I went back to my room and stayed there all day again.

So if this is not enough here are several other things that I am being told:

I can not pick kids or I get reprimanded. I still pick them up.

I get overruled with my parenting. There are time a spanking is in order, it i snot abuse and I would not abuse my kids.

Do not over rule me when I am feeding my kids, like I was cooking Katrina some zucchini fires and was going to give her some homemade chicken tenders, well SIL walks in with Wifey and gives her spaghetti and chicken from grandma's while I was cooking part of Katrina's dinner. No words to me or asking me what I was giving her for dinner.

the best part I guess I spilled the beans and I am not going back to change it, I am told I have an attitude problem. Well guess what yes I do and I am not a bay, it is MY house and MY rules; if YOU DO NOT LIKE it LEAVE.

Do not tell me what to do, I am a grown man, I can do things myself. If I can not I have learned with CM and SM to acknowledge it and ask for help. Right now I can use some help but Chrissy needs more and it is more important to me that she gets the help I need. I am not a 2 year old you needs looking after and I do not need my poopy diaper changed.

So with all the above and me feeling like I am being treated like a worthless invalid. The stress level is back to super high, Migraines are kicking my but, I am not sleeping or eating and none of this is good for my recovery. But the kicker is that I am being told that they are doing this so I can recover, BYTE ME.

now that I have thoroughly vented and I will apologize to you my friends for the bad language used, that is not usually my style of writing. What can I do to relieve the stress outside of throwing people out of my house and saying stay the %^$#$^ out or causing damage to my marriage because I am ready to explode like I have not exploded before.

Main meal before posting this was one banana, bottle of water, and 1 sleeve of ritz crackers.

Floor is yours


Sounds like you really needed to vent. I am sorry that the stress level is so high right now. I don't want to tell you what to do, but you really should try to eat more. It isn't good for healing, really :(

Staying in your room is driving you nuts, I am sure, but if that is what it takes to avoid the stress, you are probably doing the right thing.

Is there a chance that you can pull your wife aside and discuss the stress level with her? Eeeek. I am cringing as I am writing this b/c some partners/spouses are good about hearing this stuff, but maybe if you tell her how ou may help? Better to deal with it now than explode later.

I hope you got some sleep and are feeling a bit better. Try to have a good day :) I know....easier said than done.



know you are in thought and prayer well as your family..Please know I am here for you.

This Chiari thing is not easy, for sure!



just doing some reading - thanks all will review better when I am in a better mood, still fuming but trying to get into better space...not succeeding very well though...maybe a car ride with fresh air. Wouldn't that frost the cake but it is my car and I have keys and the doctor did not pull my license. none of them did

Yes, being out of the house might help a bit. Drive safe, though!

Another small suggestion. I like the idea of the calm lunch, trying to talk things over. I have a very specific idea for HOW to talk to anyone whose actions are bugging you: use "I" statements. For example, if I want to scream at my husband not to get up in the middle of dinner so that he can compulsively clean the kitchen, I get better results by saying, "When you start cleaning the kitchen during dinner, it makes me feel really guilty that I haven't cleaned up the right way." These "I" statements, according to the psycho-babel we get told in parent training stuff, sounds less like an accusation, and is less likely to make the other person feel and get defensive.

Good luck to you! Enjoy the fresh air for a bit.

You have more patients than I do! I would have flipped out and gave someone a big glass of shut the fudge up! I would not tolerate that b.s. any further!

If it were me yes a car ride "ALONE" would do me some good!

The upload picture is an accurate description of my mood but it is also an attempt at humor considering the kids are not involved in the little implosion/explosion. Emma still watches Dora and Katrina used to do so. Trust me when you see the pic you will immediately make the connection to dora

531-doraexplosion.jpg (36.9 KB)

just got back from a wonderful time at the YMCA with my oldest walked in and nobody said anything about me driving....I guess my look on my face challenged people to say something, yet no one did.
By the way I feel good after being released from my prison for a while a little break and I will do it again. This time and I am taking Emma with me. We are going to Wal-Mart

Mike ,

You know I am all for venting & I am glad you came to us !!! It is very hard for others to understand us. They may love us & think they know what is best for us & try to be empathetic but they don't truly understand. I think they really believe we should be "fixed" after surgery & we aren't. Is it possible for you to stop this "friend" from coming to your home? I dislike you are feeling like you are being ganged up on, when you are still recovering. I know you don't want to upset your wife but you aren't near 100% yet & stress makes your recovery difficult. It is easy to say what I would do, but I am not always politically correct.......I will make you smile though.......

I have actually been diagnosed with an Adjustment Disorder.......yes it's a real mental diagnosis. My apologies to the World Population.... : )

I am not politically correct either - Call a spade a spade. But it is not a friend, it is a sister in law whose primary goal is to help her sister and I am caught in the crossfire between two sister who are "looking out for my best interests".. will explain more later eyes are watching