In the dog house...again

hi friends,

i am typing w/1 finger b/c on 10/31 i fell...once again on mt left hand/arm....and gettibg out of the shower yester i slipped on the wet floor and fell on the same spot...i went to er for x-ray...i am now in a fancy hard splint..from above the my was scary driving home...

i went to the 3rd floor to see mom..she is there for iv anti biotics. she is still very confused.

hubby and girls are mad at me for falling so many x' it is mt fault...hubby said it was my own fault..b/c i don't use a cane and i try to 'go too fast'.....maybe family is acually po'd b/c they have to help out around here!!! hubby helped a lot while laid he is working..his 4th week in 7 he appears put out.....

thanks for reading...



OUCH...iam sorry you hurt yourself sure doesnt sound like fun, broken or sprain?.. Sorry you are falling, Umm yeah you are going to use a cane in the shower thats like even less Ok i just had to say it sorry!

as for yours kids i dont know what their ages are but hey they all got hands and mouths and butts and wear clothing so that means they all eat talk and make a mess so they can all pitch in those hand feet and mouths and pitch in! :D

i know it sounds so easy but when you are the one dealing with it sometimes its easier to just say FORGET IT I WILL DO IT MYSELF!! (which we both know we shouldnt do) or you could completely BOYCOT the whole darned thing til someone says ok i had enough of this craziness its time to get this straight (eventually it does happen- and when its does its like an ephinany with lights and sirens and confetti the whole 9 yrds oh yes and even praise and a pat on the back (for them) sounds like i been down that road b4 huh? lol yup been there done that, and now i hold the notion u live here too help and it will get done dont help and it wont get done its just that simple)

hang in there you'll be out of the dog house soon! lol

They will all get over it soon enough. Take care of yourself!!!


Hi Lori,

That's sucks, I'm so sorry! I'm sure it is really frustrating to have your family react that way when you are already doing more than should be expected. I would guess though that it's not that they are actually mad at you, but probably rather that they are scared. In the therapy world, anger is what we call (in the majority of cases) a secondary emotion. That is, when we dont want to express what we actually feel (primary emotions) we express them in a secondary way like anger. Its much easier to show anger than to let someone know that you are scared, concerned, (maybe even frustrated) especially if you feel like you should be strong for them or if they don't seem to be "weak" themselves. I'm not saying this to say they were responding well and you should get over it, but in hopes that you wont be too hard on yourself or think that you've done something wrong.

Hope you feel better!


hi girls.....

thank you for your kind and helpful words...xoxo

had a good talk w/hubby this hit the nail on the head!! more worried than mad...i did promise to get a cane..seeing dr. on monday. are so right..they got over it!!!thanks!

lisa.....sure sounds like you've been thru this sort of thing too! lol....i think i will boycott!!! my girls are in 6th and 10th grade...sweet is my own fault i let them be slackers as far as helping out around here..shame on me..

maybe all this time i have been in some sort of denial ..that i really am disabled...i am on ssdi..for some reason, i feel shame in if it were one of you guys..i would sincerely tell you to apply for ssdi and not think you were less than..i feel like a loser not working, some days, ya know???Lonely too..thank God i have you folks...sincerely , i mean that..

during the talk with hubby today we talked about my severe anxiety about leaving the house...mostly when i have to drive alone....maybe it is possible that i fear falling in public.... do not drive the thru-way b/c of visual problems that come and go..

sorry this is so long..thanks to you all..i am up for any/all advice and input.



I don't know if this is something you have considered or maybe even done, but I would really recommend seeing a therapist. Especially if you can find what is called an LMFT- these folks (what I am currently going to school to be, no bias ! Haha) are specifically trained at working with families in addition to individuals. We all know so well how much anxiety, stress and fear come along with chronic health problems and there's no reason to expect that anyone should know how to handle that by themselves. An LMFT in particular can work with your family to strengthen it as a support system and to deal with the ways that everyone is affected. Especially if you are going for medical reasons, most insurance will pay for some number of visits.

The other great thing is that many therapists do great work specifically with stress/pain management. We know how much reducing stress alone can affect the way we feel. Imagine that combined with learning non-drug ways to manage pain and having a stronger family support system! I saw a new therapist yesterday and first the first time in i dont know how long I was able to recognize that yes, I was still in pain, but that I didn't have to associate with it or let it totally consume me. It was so empowering!

I truly think that everyone can benefit from some form of therapy-I mean we have all found a sort of it here in the support group with people who know exactly what we are going through. A therapist wont ever know exactly what it is like to have this condition (although my therapist actually had another client with it!), but the same feelings and struggles are faced by most people who struggle with chronic conditions.

A last word of caution-for any of you may choose to go this route, be aware that just like with doctors you will have to search for therapist who's personality and skills fit YOU. Don't give up if you don't mesh! Be open about what you are looking for and ask for a referral, speaking from the inside, the therapist can feel when it isn't a good fit just like you can!

Sorry, I'll put my soapbox away now X-)


Now being 7 weeks post op I am experiencing some of the same things around here. My daughter had her tonsils out last Thursday so for 3 days I not only had on my big girl panties, but also my super woman cape… Bu Sunday I was taking Meds and in so much pain and exhausted. Hubby thought it was " doing me good to have something to do". REALLY? you think I like not being able to drive, and to watch my dog that I worked so hard to train turning into a destructive house pet because the girl working him isn’t doing what needs to be done. He sees me stumble, knows that I am exhausted, but thinks it’s because I need to o back to work. Luckily he couldn’t take me to my NS this week because he had to work, so my dad took me. I got a chance to really talk to him about how I feel, without him "trying to help "by telling the doc about how he feels I’m doing. Don’t get me wrong he is an awesome husband, but doesn’t believe in medication and has never had surgery, so he is clueless.

Hang in there…I take my cane if I am walking alone, but have found it throws me off more, but it can’t hurt to try!

Lori....Never hurts to start something new now ..change is good for them too ;) lol

Kate... what is LMFT stand for?

SsLake...Glad you were able to go to the doctor without your husband, no offence but i think i would have had to sush him up while he may mean well, hes not the one going through the healing process..As for his commemt in the home i think i would have had to hit him with something to knock some sense into him-lol- then sit his butt down and talk to him about why you hit him with the pillow or whatever it was and how exactly it is you feel and how it is you are healing and what and where it is you need help and his lack of concern is not so helpful!


you gals are the best....thanks for all your help.

abby, thanks for the attachment and all your prayers...means so much. are right..change is good...i will be sure to make a to do list for the girls and get a very fashionable cane!!! have tons on your plate...gosh..onlt 7 weeks post-op.....print ot what abby posted above and give it to hubby...i am sure he is a good guy...but sometimes they are flat out clueless.