November 9th

counting down it feels like its going by slow and fast at the same time. I’m more and more nerves everyday. I did make sure that if anything happens to me that my daughter will be taken care of and my organs go to who ever needs them. I feel like i’m planing my own death, but I don’t want to leave anything to chance. Am I doing the right thing or am I just putting the cart before the horse.

Thank you both for your addvise. I'm on meds for anziety the rest of my like I have a panic disorder that landed me in the hspt for 4 days last March now i'm on regular meds for that. My psyc doctor hopes I will get better.I also have complex partial siezures. It just feels like my head can't take much more. I asked my doctor it this will help my seizures and she said no because it is a differant part of the brain.

I'm afraded of flying and my sister who use to be a flight attendent and told me the same thing. I still won't get into a plane. I like to feel i'm in controll all the time, and being a baptist you know that you don't have controll it's all in Gods hands. So I guesse in my way of thinking I don't know what he has in store for me but I will be perpaired. If everythings turns out fine then great then I will be ready for what ever might happen in the furture. Thank you again I was able to put it all together and what makes sence to me.

P.S. I can't spell and my gramer sucks so if you don't understand something ask I won't be affended.

Fear of dying during surgery is so normal. I was a mess but now that it is over I can’t believe I was so nervous! In fact the first thing I said to my family upon waking up was that so far this was way easier than when I had my tonsils removed and 2 weeks later I still say so.

Praying everything goes great and you have an easy recovery!