i am sorry, but i really have to get this out of my system.
I am only 16 years old and i have already had 2 brain surgies and been diagnosed with 5 or more disabilities. I am in constant pain 24/7 and i can barley handle it. yet i have no choice but to stand strong and fight the battle. I have no choice. I have to wake up every morning and take lots of different medications and get ready for school and act like the normal teenager i am not. people look at me and they see a normal teenager. i am not normal and healthy. when i tell people i am not well they look at me like i am faking it and that i am completely fine, some time i wish that i was in a wheelchair, all bruised, just look like what i feel so people will no longer give me that look. I wish that i didn't not have to been in this pain that just keeps on getting worse. i was at the point a year ago that i could not take it anymore so i went and got surgery, and guess what? everything just got worse from there. all of my symptoms get worse and i was in worse pain. overtime i go to the doctors (like once a week if not more) i never get answers but more problems. often they tell me something else that could possibly be wrong with me and tell me a test to do. i then go take the test and it give me no answers, just more questions. if on the off chance that i do get an answer, then it is something that there is no cure for, something that i will have to live with for the rest if my life, something that i have no hope for getting rid of. most teenage girls have to worry about if a guy likes them, or if their make up is alright. i have to worry about if i remembered to take my meds, or if i will be able to make it through the day. I wish i could be a normal teenage girl. thats my biggest wish. -Lauren Lang
Hey Lauren. My heart guess it to you. I remember when I was 16 in pain and they all told me it was in my head. The reality is, you are stronger than ever because you fight constantly. That makes you beautiful in itself. Keep fighting hun. I wish you the best.
Hey, Lauren! Breaks my heart to hear your pain. I've seen more than once on facebook from Chiari or Spoonie pages "So far you have gotten through 100% of your bad days." or something like that. I thnk that quote really captures the pain vs our never ending strength.
I know the look(or reaction) you are talking about. Just yesterday I had a test and the nurse preforming it, asked me why I need to have it, I said : "Problems breathing and a LOT of other things", she replied with friendly lughter:"How can you have a LOT of problems? You're young!" (I'm 25) I didn't even try to explain. It would probably be like speaking latvian to someone who speaks only italian.(I'm latvian)
I think the only thing that can break us, is trying to be what people expect us to be(being a 'normal teen', 'normal 25-year old' or whatever). I know it's hard, and I know most will never bother to understand, but we always have each other. Every Chiarian understands you, or even everyone who has an invisible illness.