Dr. Tew is such a "this surgery is a breeze" type of doctor. And I am really nervous about my appointment on May 6th. It will be 7 weeks since surgery and even now I don't feel ready. I can still only last a few hours before I am wore out. My neck and head are so stiff in the mornings, i am so tired during the day and I honestly couldn't imagine going back yet with the minor dull headaches, body aches, muscle spasms, and some days are better then others
Not to mention I have to get up at 6am to be at work by 8 by the time I shower, get kids ready, take them to school and I have a 45 minute commute to work. Sitting at home on the computer for more then a few hours kills my neck, and yes my job is IT so I am behind a desk all day on the phone and walking the huge office fixing computers. By the time I leave at 5 during rush hour I am home by 6 so it is really an 11 to 12 hour day for me.
I am also not sleeping still. I see my primary doctor again on the 30th and even she said she doesn't think I would be ready by the 6th with my work schedule plus the boys therapy and tutoring. I drive about 120 miles a day some days. Good days its only 70-80. I am driving and my range of motion is pretty good But I still don't sleep more then 3 hours at a time then up for an hour to 3 hours then sleep again for 3 to 4 more hours. Back to work I would be going 11-12 hour days with 3-5 hours of sleep. And yes my doctor and dr tew want a sleep study and are thinking central sleep apnea but my PCP says no point in doing one until I am off some of the meds. Right not I still take pain pills, as 2 to 4 valium a day to help with the stiffness, and then at night flexoril and xanax (which i have been on for 4 years) but she wants to wait on a sleep study until I am done weaning off he valium and pain meds.. which I agree.
I am just so nervous that dr tew and the type of interactions we have had he will be the type to say well you should be fine back at work. I have even considered asking my PCP doctor to write a letter about ordering sleep study once i am off the valium and pain meds and suggesting a few more weeks off work.
I could work from home part time but I have to call my STD to make sure that if I only work say 15 hours a week and released to work part time that they will pay me the hours to make up the remaining to meet 40 hours because even my HR department doesnt know. My FMLA ends around June 13th and i don't think I need THAT much time but I just don't feel ready for working 40 hours a week but pathetic I am stressing over telling that to dr tew.
some days i regret this surgery completely... especially thinking dr. tew is the "best" since he is the director... me opinion only.
any ideas or suggestions on how to bring it up and explain that i am just not ready?
I know you are right… And to be honest I feel intimidated by him… Sad I know. After all I went through with 11 surgeries for my kids and 18 doctors I NEVER held back on anything but for some reason it’s different with him. It’s almost like no matter what I say it’s wrong and he has a rebuttle for. But I know, my husband knows. And my mom knows I am not ready.
My boss from work brought us dinner Saturday night (we are a close group of IT and only 5 of us) and even he emailed me and said he doesn’t expect me to come back on the 7th that after two hours of visiting he could tell I was ready to hit the couch.
I am hoping he listens to me and at least gives me another two weeks and ill make the drive to Ohio again to see him in two weeks if I have to.
I know I have read some people are back in the 4-6 weeks other at 8 some at 12 weeks some at 6 months and some didnt go back or lost their job. I just know I am not ready so I hope he listens.
Thanks for the reply. I think I have been in the depression phase so I apologize for not being active on here as much. I have been in my own little world lately.
M
Emmaline said:
If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. He doesn’t say how you feel…you do. You need to be more conditioned than what you are it would seem. I certainly wasn’t ready that early…no way.
I’m 12 weeks out from surgery and still don’t feel completely ready to go back to work. I’m an RN and my work is physically and mentally demanding and very stressful at times. One of the ways Chiari has affected me is that I have very fuzzy thinking and have then experienced some short-term memory loss since my surgery. It is getting better, but slowly. I just saw my neurosurgeon last week (I see a different doctor at Mayfield) and he was more than willing to keep me off work until I felt completely ready. He said “Only you know when that time is” and also that it can take a long time for the brain to heal and that timing is different for everyone. I was glad to hear him acknowledge this, because I’ve read on here of surgeons acting like this surgery is so easy. My suggestion to you is to speak up and be your own advocate. Tell him exactly what your life is like. Also, take someone with you to support you at your appointment. I took my husband with me to every appointment with the neurologist and surgeon so that he could speak up for me if I was unable to get my point across(hard for me because of my cognitive struggles). If your doc is still resistant, I would turn to your primary care doc as it sounds like she is supportive. It sucks to go through surgery of this magnitude and then have to worry about your doc not supporting you. I understand your feelings of depression. I think it’s normal to go through that, and it sounds like you have a whole lot of stress on you anyway besides going through this condition and surgery.
I pray you feel some encouragement today!
Sonya
I would be assertive and upfront. Ever Chiarian is different pre and post surgical. I could never return to work. Do not feel bad for telling your NS the truth. You are your own health advocate. We are here for you. I am sorry you have this stress on top of everything you are dealing with already.
I too have problems with sleep. I like feel im not ready to go back to work even though I still have another month off before I go back for my follow up. Fortunatly my ns is wlling to give me up to 12 weeks off if I need it. I like you I wke up with severe stiff neck and lingering spasms but I have to remind myself they cut through the nerves in my neck and it will take time to heal. What helps with the pain is if I lay my head down which gives me some relief. I can relate how you feel. Thank you so much for sharing
This all scares me… I am waiting in a date for surgery, I drive 80 miles a day, do a full days work then back to my son & dogs… I wonder am I doing the right thing getting surgery… I can’t afford to be ill or unable to do stuff… I do find it difficult at times but it could worse… Aaagghh it makes my broken brain more broke thinking about it!!!
That is completely normal. My surgery was in September and I’m still not ready. Your symptoms are everything that I’ve been experiencing and I’m sure others would agree. Brain surgery is really hard on the body and takes a while to recover from.
I promise I had a very advanced situation and was diagnosed too late. Every Chiarian is different. I only know of one lady who is a Moderator here that has a situation like mine. Please don't be scared just talk to your NS and your PCP. You know your body.
Sarah said:
This all scares me.. I am waiting in a date for surgery, I drive 80 miles a day, do a full days work then back to my son & dogs.. I wonder am I doing the right thing getting surgery.. I can't afford to be ill or unable to do stuff.. I do find it difficult at times but it could worse.. Aaagghh it makes my broken brain more broke thinking about it!!!
I agree with TracyZ. Only you know your body. I had surgery the beginning of Feb and I was still exhausted until about a week ago. I still have some times when I feel as if I need to sleep and I stop and do just that. One thing my NS said to me is know your limits. What may work for one may not work for another. Me, personally I am ready to go back but I did have may doctor explain that I may need extended periods of rest. Thankfully my job has agreed and I will be going back next week. Speak to your doctors.
Thank you all so much… My husband started a new job so he can’t go with me but my mom is. I am thinking just another 2-3 weeks after I see him on the 6th that would be like 9-10 weeks off. I really don’t want to take the full 12 in case I need it. I don’t think work would have an issue but no one has a “secure” job any more. And even if I have STD my FMLA ends June 15th.
I am going to talk to my doctor on Tuesday and then on the 6th dr Tew and just tell him I’m not ready. Driving 30 min to an apt and sitting there with my kids and 30 minutes home was draining enough! I am sure he will try to tell me I should be ready but I know my mom will support me as well and so will my PCP.
Thanks for all the replies and suggestions! I will let you know how it all goes!
Aww I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time, just be totally honest you don’t want to make your recuperation slow or back track. Take care of you girl <3
That sounds like a really long day so soon after surgery. And that amount of driving? I am 6 months out from surgery and my neck would be SCREAMING if I had that long of a commute! There's just no way.
The fact is, you know your body better than anyone else. If you need more time, tell him. I had two decompressions in less than 18 months and it took a huge toll on my body. I am now 6 months out from my second one, and I am just now starting to feel like I can put in a full day with no naps and be okay. Everyone is different! Your days sound like they are going to be very long and exhausting. I know I couldn't do what you are describing, even now. All that driving, then all that sitting! Wow! Give yourself more time if you need it.