Decompression as a mom

General
1

I am a mom of three young kids, I have three boys, ages 5, 3 & 1. I am trying to see am honest opinion on how recovery is when you have kids. I found a lot of information that you can’t lift over 5 pounds for about 2 months and that scares me. My youngest is very needy and I can’t just NOT pick him up.

On a side note, if you guys have other information for me about recovery or how long your really in pain. I would appreciate anything. My oldest was 18 months at his decompression and recovery was a breeze for him. Now that I am newly diagnosed I am not sure how long my husband will need to take off to help me.

Any info would be great!

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Hi Lauren...

This is just my own experiences and I know others here will share theirs as well with you.

I do 1st want to say that it is wonderful your son is doing so wonderfully! Thank God! It always amazes me the way the young folks just seem to bounce back from the surgery fairly quickly.

I did as my own NS about that..He explained to me the rationale behind that..It is his belief that in the young children with CM and have the decompression...not too much time had passed with these youngsters where their CSF have been blocked/diminished, thus causing less or even no lasting nerve damage...I tend to think that would make perfect sense.

Ok...Here goes! I had my decompression 5 years ago..So, now I can look back a bit more clearly and give you a timeline sort of thing ..which I am hoping may be helpful to you. Going from doctor to doctor ..trying to get a proper diagnosis was the most anxiety provoking time for me...many NL's telling that they knew I had something wrong with me but it was NOT due to the CM!

Once seen by my NS and he told me that the CM was (in his medical opinion) causing most if not all my symptoms...

Sept 7, 2008 or the 8th..I was released from the hospital with the staples

Home with pain meds and muscle relaxers..I also used ice on the back of my neck...that helped a lot.

Tired easily for the first 2 weeks.

After, I think 2 weeks home I got the staples out.

The same day I got the staples removed ..Myself and the family took a 12 hour road trip! My husband got lost and a 6 hour drive turned into 12 hours! I cried about 10 of the 12 hours I think.

The crying I am not sure was due to pain, tiredness, fear or a combo!

We were relocating and we were meeting an agent to go look at houses.

So, looking back today...I guess I must have been in fairly decent shape to make THAT trip and back..after that we made continuous jaunts up here.to keep looking at houses.

Bottom line was ..The 3rd week of November we moved...I packed up the entire house myself,..(I can a bit of a control freak!)..I did NOT lift anything..like boxes or that type of thing...

Once everything was in this house..Hubby has to work..kids were in school..then the kids were..Julia was 8 ..Victoria was 11..

I unpacked all the boxes and set up the kitchen and stuff like that...Don't get me wrong..I was cranky and very tired..I was also weaning off the pain meds.

I tell you about my story because the 1st year if you knew me ..you would think I must have been on my death bed the way I had talked..."OMG....Well, ya know...he did split my head open like a coconut! No wonder I am cranky!" See, what I'm saying? So, I can look at it more clearly now...and I honestly don't think it could have been all THAT bad...because I am NOT a hero or super woman....I am your garden variety human being...nothing extra special here! LOL

Here's the deal with your situation..in my opinion...Is there any way that you can have someone watch your 1 year old while your husband is working?? For that matter...all 3 kids ! At least for the 1st 3 weeks....You shouldn't be bending over, picking the baby up..even your 3 year old wants to be picked up at times , right?? This is my concern for you.

Here's another option as far as the kids...can a friend or family come and stay at your place for a bit...? Having 2 kids myself..I know that if 1 went say, to my sisters...and the other stayed home when I got home from the hospital ..both of them complained that they weren't home...BUT..when my sister took both of the girls...they forgot all about home! They were having fun!

Sorry this is so darn long..let me know if I can help in any way!

Take care,

Lori

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I am thinking about flying my mom in and my husband will be off for 3-4 weeks. I think having my mom here to help will be the best part while I am in the hospital. Lol… hubby needs to help me breast pump while I am in the hospital.

Do you remember how long post-op weight restriction lasts?

Thanks for all the amazing insight!

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Hi..

That sounds perfect!! Have you asked your mom yet?? The weight restrictions from my NS were ..for the 1st month..If I remember correctly, was not more than 7lbs..weird #..a gallon of milk...after that it was , I believe 20lbs /listening to my body..if picking up something 20lbs and less caused me increased pain..don't do that gain for a few weeks.

Also...even now..do not bend at the waist to pick something up..causes too much pressure in the head..out of sheer habit I would bend at the waist to pick up something off the floor, say. and I felt it..still do , at times..thus, I bend my knees to pick stuff off the floor!

Yes..this is something you need to keep in mind when you get home as well as when you are in the hospital. The pain meds will surely cause you to get constipated...make sure you are getting a stool softener along with your other meds while in patient..sometimes a doc will forget to order something for the ole bowels..and, you do not wan tto have to deal with that problem!

Keep us updated on things..we are here for ya!

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Hi Lauren! I am also a Mom of Three...ages 5,6 & 10...and I am about 2 months post-op right now. I had my ssurgery on a monday morning, and came home friday afternoon. That first weekend my kids went to their Dad's house, which was great because it gave me a couple days to settle in and get an idea of what I could/couldn't do. The first full week home I needed A LOT of help...my Mom did pretty much everything with/for the kids, and me (we live with her). Over the next couple weeks I gradually got to where I could do little things, but even now a lot of daily things are difficult. My weight lifting restriction was 10lbs, or a gallon of milk, for the first month, and after that I was told to really take it slow on heavier weights. I'm still not lifting anything over probably 15-20lbs, at the most. I still get tired very easily, and am still on pain meds. My best advice to you is to have your Mom there, even though your husband will be home the first few weeks. Believe me, with 3 kids AND a household to run it will better to have the both of them! After that, you really are just going to have to LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! Take things slow and ASK FOR HELP if you need it! You will have good days and bad days, and it will be frustrating to NOT be able to do things you are used to doing. But I promise you, you do NOT want to over-do! If you are concerned about feeling like you are not spending enough time with your kids, plan things now that you CAN do with them...lots of cuddling while watching their favorite movies, coloring, puzzles...things that do not require a lot of moving around or lifting, but that are still enjoyable to you and them. Bottom line is plan, plan, plan. Over-plan. Its much easier to say "Gee, I don't need you help right now, but thanks Mom" than it is to say "Omg I wish you were here, I really need you!" Also, everyone is different, so don't get caught up in comparing your recovery to anyone else's.

I hope my rambling makes sense and is helpful! If I can be of help in any way please let me know! Good luck!

Jen

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I appreciate all your help. I’m the one who always has to do everything. I am def the hands on momma. This will be hard, but for the greater good. At least after all this is said and done I will be not as “broken” (that’s how I feel most days).

Only hard part, my 3 year old and I need back to back surgery, so hopefully we can make it through.