All of you understand the challenges that we go through on a daily basis with my CM and SM. However hit a big downer and bummer today. We took little Miss Emma to her kindergarten orientation. The principal came in and introduced himself. I understand look can be deceiving however he did confirm his age/experience by saying that he has been in the field for 17 years. He is at where I want to if it wasn't for this D@MN CM and SM especially with the complications it is giving me now. How do you pull your self up from a blow like this one. Right now I can not think of anything and feel like an old hollow shell and no where near my old self, which I slowly will have to accept that the old me will never be back no matter what the doctors or I do. No one can reverse the hands of time.
But you are still here, Michael. What a gift that is. And able to take your daughter to kindergarten -- an enormous milestone. In the end, no one keeps score about who got to be principal and who didn't. A successful life is measured in other things than one's level of employment. Many of the greatest successes I know are right here on the networks. It is not their title or position but their caring and connecting to others that makes them special.
Mike, that’s a tough spot. We don’t know how things will turn out yet, I know you are still having your case looked at (and I am so glad!). Yes, this does change us and feels like it can take so much of us away, things we used to do that were part of our identity. The other side to that coin is that sometimes we are surprised by the silver linings, and we are forced to look into ourselves to see what else is lying in wait. I’ve have had a few grass roots get to know myself again moments out of necessity of not feeling like my future is going to be a waste. I know I will have more in the future too. For me,it has also been helpful to focus on what I CAN do. Abby gave me that same advice a few months ago. It’s ok to feel the loss and sadness, but you must be proactive to keep that balanced with a positive action too. I really think balance is key. Be proud of the things you once did, be proud of the family you created, the friendships you cultivated, the parent you are and your smart, unique style you are raising them to be great adults with, all the kids (and their futures)who you affected in such a positive way. These are a paltry few examples, Mike, to see that we are still doing and creating. And please don’t loose your hope- to me that is one thing that should be protected like a bar of gold. Keep your hope alive!
You are loved and cared for 
Jenn
I’m sorry you are feeling down! I think we all have these moments where we realize we aren’t where we thought we would be in life. It’s best to focus on what we can do. You are a great father and a great support to others in this forum! Being a great father is way more important than any career. Honestly the older I get the less I care about work. I just want to finish my daily tasks and come home and spend time with my husband and family! Hang in there and focus on the positives!