So I was called by my principal into a meeting with a parent today. She was concerned of stupid things and I wasn't worried. But right in the middle of the meeting I started bawling. I have noticed that I bawl at the drop of a hat of anything and everything since my surgery. Have any of you found that you do the same thing? I honestly don't know what is wrong. This is the 1st parent mtg. since my surgery 7mo ago, so I have no idea if I will do this every time, but I feel like an idiot!!! I need some advice.
Apparently I can't type either. So excuse the grammar please!
You are so right. Almost everything other than losing my son has been so trivial. I hear my coworkers complain and all I can think is I wish that was what I was worrying about. I think most of the time when I do have these moments it is over stupid things. What was really weird was I didn't even feel the need to cry, but then tears just started streaming down my face. It took a few moments for the emotions to follow. It was really weird. I just want to be normal. I want to be like everyone else. I hate having to live this life, but at the same time I am so thankful that my chiari is not as severe as it could/should be. I am ready to get off this roller coaster ride for awhile!
I agree with Emmaline, completely. I find myself getting really frustrated with people that concern themselves with things that really don't matter. I also get upset when I see people like us struggling and it all doesn't seem fair to me. There are times that I feel really good about it all and then 5 minutes later I am crying and mad at everyone. Most of the time I don't have good reasons to be mad, upset etc. It just happens and sometimes at the most inappropriate times. I get aggrevated when someone complains about some medical condition that can be fixed or it is caused by something they did. I didn't choose Chiari...and if I could change it I would. I just want to scream at them and say "Oh, so sorry that you are lazy and hurt because you don't do ANYTHING...How about you take my place and I will go back to work for you.: Or when someone complains of a headache...Seriously? "Go have brain surgery and still feel like crap...I'd be glad to take your headache for you." UGH! Sorry...I guess that needed to come out. Lol
Chiari has changed me more than I ever imagined it would. Sometimes, I think I come off as being heartless because I hate to listen to petty problems. I was always very sympathetic and now...not so much. Some days I don't like myself much, but I can't seem to change the way I feel.
It might be worth a visit to your PCP. I was prescribed an anti-depressant and I am going to start therapy. Hopefully, I can manage my anger and emotional instability with help. I hope you are having a better day!
Hi...
I can 100% relate to your emotional issues....I cried in front of the plumber and rattled off something, which I am unsure...once I start to cry...hard to stop.
I hope you are feeling better.
You are not alone and keep in mind you still are early into recovery...7 mths is not a long time...remember you had major surgery,...give yourself some slack...I'll give ya a cyber hug!
Peace,
Lori
Michelle said:
You are so right. Almost everything other than losing my son has been so trivial. I hear my coworkers complain and all I can think is I wish that was what I was worrying about. I think most of the time when I do have these moments it is over stupid things. What was really weird was I didn't even feel the need to cry, but then tears just started streaming down my face. It took a few moments for the emotions to follow. It was really weird. I just want to be normal. I want to be like everyone else. I hate having to live this life, but at the same time I am so thankful that my chiari is not as severe as it could/should be. I am ready to get off this roller coaster ride for awhile!