Anxiety! *Venting*

General
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So I know that some people suffer with anxiety from the Chiari, and I was diagnosed (a while ago) with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, this is pretty much the nice way of saying that I am afraid of everything! I am so sick of not being able to leave my house because of my irrational fears of everything. I cannot drive my car because of panic attacks and even have a hard time being in a vehicle with someone else without freaking out (over nothing). I am afraid of people and have a very hard time even walking into any facility alone. I have an appointment for new meds, because obviously mine aren't working! Does anyone else have this? What do you do to cope with it? I just really don't know how much more I can take, the anxiety might be related to the Chiari, but of course the docs don't want to admit that is is possible. I am fed up, but too scared of everything to do anything about it. Okay I think I am done now....Thanks everyone for listening to me rant!

Crystal

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Hi Crystal sorry to hear your day to day life has been so affected by this. Lots of people have the same anxiety issues so your not alone. I have issues with other people…let’s face it…people are dirty and I don’t want them near me or my stuff. Every one at work knows not to touch my desk as I will have a melt down etc. What has helped me the most is try to reduce my stress levels by refocusing on different activities…ie walking my dog, helping with the horses at home. Also try to accept you are who you are! I am never going to be happy in a crowed place, eating food out etc so why force myself to do it.
Today I think you should do something nice for your self. You desierve it

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My dear Crystal....

Tears are in my eyes right now after reading your post. I am a fellow sufferer with Anxiety Disorder as well...so I totally get where you are coming from.

It has gotten so bad for me that my primary doc is now involved b/c I have lost so much weight.She put me on this gross liquid med that is called Magace....it is an appetite enhancer.

Anyway..I too take meds as of recently...Klonipin 1mg 3x a day...to be honest , I am not too good with being complient!!!

I know have committed to tking it x2 daily...which actually does help.

Do you have anyone to talk to?? Meaning a therapist, clergy ect.....I see a therapist ..we clicked and I find him helpful..it is so important that if you do see a therapist that you feel 100% comfortable with that person. I only see the shrink for meds and other than that he is useless!!!! Doesn't even make eye contact with me ...even when I am crying!! But I did learn from my friend who is a therapist that it is a cultural this..see, this doc is from Korea and she told me she went to a seminar about different cultures and how they are....very interesting...cuz at 1st, I thought he was just a rude ass!!LOL

also, have you had blood work done recently??? I ask b/c if you are low in some vitamins ..such as D, B's that could just be adding to your anxiety...I was told to take a multi vitamin every day.

Recently I picked up an old hobby..knitting....I find it self soothing, doesn't make a mess and I can pick it up and leave it alone when there is something I have to do....and..I can do it at home or anywhere for that matter.

Some folks here blog and find that helpful.

for me, Crystal, everything I do these days is in BABY STEPS....Sunday was the 1st time I went to church in MANY mths...Boy, was that a huge thing for me!!! Made me feel proud of myself..which may sound stupid..but I am proud I went...and the bonus was...I LOVED IT!!!! See, it is a new church for us.

Somedays I have to go hour by hour.minute by minute....looking too far ahead makes my anxiety worse..for instance..my 15 yr old Victoria tells me at 7am she has a Home Game tonight at 7:30pm...I have to keep this in check and when I find myself 'worrying ' about being there...with all those people , my anxiety goes through the roof....so my therapist suggested that as soon as something like that pops into my head..catch it..and tell myself that I am always free to leave the game anytime..which is true!!!

I am rambling now....sorry...but I know 1st hand how painful anxiety is...and if the people around you have never suffered from it....it is pretty hard for them to understand it..My sister and I are close in many ways...but a few weeks ago she came right out and said.."I am not good with peoples emotions..wish I could help." Doesn't make her a bad or uncaring person...just some folks really cannot wrap their head around an anxiety disorder.

But , luckily, we here, at our site....get it and will try our hardest to help each other through it.

Please know we are here for you and let us know how you are feeling today..WE CARE!!!!!

Peace,

Lori

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Thanks so much for responding. I don't feel like I have the support from anyone around me because I don't like to tell them about it and people think I am crazy because I have strange fears that I cannot explain. My husband thinks I am overreacting to everything. I know that I am not the only one, but when everyone around me can hop in their car and just take care of the everyday things around them, and I cannot bring myself to do those things it just makes me sad and frustrated. I have seen a psychologist, that is where I got my initial diagnosis. I adored her, but since then she has retired and I have not found anyone who I seem to be comfortable with. Is there no "magic pill" that I can take to just get rid of this already!? Why do I have all the complicated stuff that cannot just be fixed!? I have recently had blood work done and everything came back fine, so I think I am good there. I am feeling okay today, I just got out of the house, which was nice since normally that doesn't happen unless it's Thursday (my hubby's day off). I just want to feel better and be normal, is that too much to ask?

Crystal

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Crystal, I feel your pain and frustration! Anxiety like pain is so difficult for others to understand. I just had this conversation with my son recently. I try to avoid anything that will spark an anxiety attack - so get to know your triggers. As I explained to my son, Chiari is much more than headache pain. Good luck to you my dear. Maybe more Chiari education for your family would help?

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Sheila, that would be nice if they were more educated, but I really think they are hoping they are done dealing with me and my medical problems lately. I just need to deal with it myself at this point.

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Hi Crystal. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings with all of us. I'm so sorry that you don't have the support at home. I too suffer from anxiety. Mine comes in waves. I've had it for years. Two months ago, I finally gave in and decided it was time for help. My phychiatrist and therapist agreed. I was put on Zoloft. Low dosage, but enough to take the edge off. Sometimes it's not enough. My triggers are going to the doctor, tests, any hospital (even visiting someone else), can't be by myself to any appt. and quite frankly I just feel uneasy about being home alone. I feel like a baby. I'm a pretty solid, strong person and it amazes me that I feel this way. I fight thru it everyday. You are not alone sweetheart. We all have so much to deal with. It has taken over my life and it stinks. I'm still in the recovery stage (5 mths post) and I still suffer. This isn't an easy life right now. It isn't easy to wake up each day fatigued, in pain and just having that uneasy, non-confident feeling. We will conquer Chiari Crystal. Take one day at a time and take one task at a time. Don't put unnecessary expectations on yourself. Try driving up the road and back and see how you do. Don't go any further. Complete one small goal at a time. Next time, go a little further . You'll do it, I know it!! You are brave and strong and don't let anyone tell you different. We are all here to be there for you and to build you up, not knock you down. Btw, you are not crazy. You and all of us have alot to deal with in our lives. I pray your family will come around and see how much you need them right now. Educate them in every way you can if that's possible. Please keep us updated on your progress. Remember, small goals to conquer your fears, you can do it!

XO CHRISTINE :)

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Christine, that is great advice on the driving. I think I will try it and see how it goes (next time I get the itch to go somewhere). My mom lives 3 blocks away so maybe I will just try going down to her house and see how it goes. I have done this in the past, but ever since the symptoms in my legs have gotten worse I have been too scared. I cannot stay in my house forever, so I know I need to do something about it. Thanks!!!!

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Awww Crystal, I'm so proud of you!! You'll be fine. XO