My daughter is 14 and has chiari. She has been an elite soccer player since the age of 6. She was on her school's varsity team in only 8th grade. She now has chiari and thankfully she only gets occasional episodes. We are having a huge battle as to weather or not she can continue to play soccer. I am so fearful she will fall and hit the back of her head. She plays midfield and is always in the action. I need help and advice. We had a world war 3 level fight about it this morning. She wants to play, her coach is pressuring her and I look like the evil witch saying no. Does anyone have any literature or hard facts that I can show her? Help...I don't know what to do. It's breaking my heart!
What does her NS say? Is she symptomatic? I have had surgery and my only restrictions are no contact sports or roller coasters. I do know of a couple of boys in town that have chiari and still played football. This is a hard decision for both of you.
I think the advice of your doctor should come into play here.
Good Luck!
Diana
Good luck. The decisions you guys are making are by no means easy. My daughter is 13 and has been suffering for 18 months with all this CM stuff. Physically and emotionally it's tough. Family and friends can be less than helpful, docs can act like you're nuts, etc,...At home, we can be on a different page as I am very live and let live while my husband thinks we need to be conservative with her care. Lynn (daughter), is somewhere in between. To top it all off, there's her age. She is too young to make health decisions on her own and simultaneously, too old for us to call the shots.
What seems to be working now FOR US (might not be for all) is for my husband and I to sit down and talk out what's about us and what's about our daughter. As with sports: "I am afraid she'll get worse", "I am afraid she'll be unable to care for herself in the future if she was worse", and other statements like that go in the MOM AND DAD category. Those are our fears. We try to compile a list of arguments, things we already know, for her to consider for herself, without feeling or fear written in. Just facts. They would look like this:
Hard hits: can make you worse
Time on the road with team: less sleep and time for hw worsens symptoms
Always have to miss time and disappoint team when you're at doc appts
So, we go over the list and she ask for her thoughts in reply. What are the positives? Do they outweigh the negatives in her mind? AND IF SHE THINKS THEY DO, together we come up with a plan to tackle or help mitigate our negative list.
If she does the activity, she HAS TO STICK to the plan. It wasn't Mom and Dad's plan, it was her too since she actively helped draft it. If she doesn't stick to the plan, then we re-negotiate.
For us (again, may not be for all), we've determined that due to her age and maturity, she has about 60% say in this but through the use of making these deals together, we get away with a lot more influence than she realizes.
:)
Another thought: would she consider rec soccer or doing another sport or two at school (XC or track)? In rec soccer, she'd get play and prob dominate after jumping down from elite. Would be easier on the body.
PLUS, yeah, as Diana said: check with the NS. Ours supports everything except roller coasters and "hard" contact sports.
Such an unfair issue at her age. I don't have anything to add to what the ladies have already suggested, they have given you very solid advice. The one thing that bothers me, is the coach (you mentioned he pressures her to play?). I work with students on a regular basis, I can not fathom.... Seriously, have a firm, explanatory conversation with the coach ONE time. If anything other than full respect for you and consideration for her well being is exhibited, "rip him a new one", as Beeba suggested. He is placing a false sense of responsiblity and guilt on her and she will never be able to reconcile her limitations and learn to cope if she has anyone pressuring her to sacrafice her health for a team sport. It's to much pressure for a young girl. I've heard older parents say, "it's better to have a mad kid than a dead kid." She will be mad for awhile, maybe a LONG while but, that's teenagers for ya, lol! Good Luck! Prayers for you and your daughter!
I totally understand both points of view here. I was always an active athelete, tennis, volleyball, wrestling, football, you name it, then in the navy falling off birds, hitting head on fuselage of of bird, constantly hurting myself, you name it, may it have caused more damage i don't know. But I did not know about any of this until recently. I know I probably would have thrown a fit like your daughter is right now to if i was told I couldn't have done any of it growing up and especially if I couldn't have joined the Navy.
Now my children because we do not know if they have or not, they refuse to slow down. My son is very active in sports and I worry constantly...he's even talking about going into football. I've voiced my concerns and he brought up a valid point to me. He said "mom if I cannot have fun why even try". We want to surround our kids with bubblewrap and protect them but the fact is we cant forever and it royally sucks. Even without Chiari they can get hurt, you hear of it every year, Chiari is just something that needs to be worked around. If the NS says it's a no go, they have to understand but other than that I think we have to give and take. We can't protect them forever. :( Sucks
Also going to add. That coach needs to have a sit down. You take information in about CM and educate him on the condition and what is going on. A coach is responsible for the welfare of his team and individual players. If a player is in a unsafe position for his/her condition put her in a position where she can play that is safer for them. Midfield I will tell you right now is not safe. I do not like alot of coach's mindsets anymore. All they give a damn about is win's not athletes. That's the reason why so many drop at the beginning of football season at practices when it's so stinking hot!!!
Diana Smirl said:
What does her NS say? Is she symptomatic? I have had surgery and my only restrictions are no contact sports or roller coasters. I do know of a couple of boys in town that have chiari and still played football. This is a hard decision for both of you.
I think the advice of your doctor should come into play here.
Good Luck!
Diana