Feel like I am going crazy

General
1

The last few weeks I feel like I am going down hill fast. I don't even know where to begin. My words dont come out too well anymore feel like my brain is all jumbled so this might not come out right.

I found out I have Chiari and Syringomyliea last year, I always knew something was wrong with me. Actually found out thru a series of MRI's that started with my lower back because of foot problems. My health has been going down hill for a few years before I found out though. I have headaches, dizziness, weakness, neck pain, nausa and ea and totally lack of energy. I just dont know what to do anymore, I havent worked since April 13th I got hurt at work and had to have shoulder surgery which I was actually looking forward too, and this is my problem. I need to return to work tomorrow and my body and brain aren't taking it too well. I have been crying for a week and I don't know how I am going to get thru another day of work. I work in a loud car factory on the assembly line. I am the family money & benefits provider so I just can't stop working.

Here's my problem, I think I am going mentally crazy because I want to be hurt so I don't have to work. I think of crashing my car, falling down, doing anything so I just stay in my quiet house and sleep. I am not suicidal I love my family but I just feel like I can't do my job anymore and I would rather have a minor surgery than work,lol crazy huh? . Has anyone ever felt like this, I would like to get some kinda therapy maybe but my work day is almost 12 hours a day (8 hours of work and 3 hours in the car) so I dont have much time.

I just kinda needed to vent, can't really talk to many people about this around me. I don't want them to look at me like I am a nut or something.

2

Melissa,

You are not crazy. It is very difficult dealing with the pain but sometimes the exhaustion and brain fog issues are madening. I would rather have the pain and be able to pull myself up and deal with that than the feeling of exhaustion. I tell my husband it's like climbing a mountain each time I need to go out and do something. Sometimes it's a hill and other times it feels like K2. It's a really hard adjustment to deal with when you start to feel your health sliding. You just want to go back to a time when you didn't feel this way.

I am sorry you are going through such a tough time. I find that some vitamins help me with energy Vit D,C,B Iron. Calcium and Magnesium Evening Primrose Oil. When I remember to take them I feel better.

You should find someone close to you to talk to.What you are feeling is normal. You just want to rest. We are always here if you need to vent.

Wendy

You should Google Spoonies....It describes having to make choices because we can't do everything.

3

I think that feeling is normal. I myself found I was envious of a coworker who had 2 weeks off for hernia surgery. I too thought I must be going crazy! lol! It's just that we are so exhausted and run down from pain paired with the fact that we look normal to everyone else. Because we don't look sick we aren't given the opportunity to rest that we need. People are always expecting stuff of us.

It's a sad fact that a lot of times people recovering from minor procedures probably do feel better than we do on an average day and they get time off to recuperate!

4

Thanks so much everyone, feels great that others so feel like me. :) Make me feel alittle less crazy lol!