Today, the decompression surgery date was confirmed for March 31st. I have been doing ok up until now, but now I’m nervous. It seems like all the pep talking I have done about the hope it will help, the hope to realize what it is to have a pain-free day – even if it is only one day. The hope is there.
And I’m not sure how much to tell the kids, what’s too much, what’s not enough, what are they understanding, what are they not? What are their worries/concerns/questions? I’ve told them the basics. I’ve let the kids’ schools know. Their teachers are looking for signs of change.
My kids are very protective of me as I am of them. They will hold things in so I don’t worry even though I repeatedly tell them we can talk about anything and try to initiate conversations …
I can’t focus on anything. I can’t remember things if it’s not on my calendar. Even such easy things like picking up a child who had to stay after school. I hurt all the time. Mornings are the best before I even get out of bed. It seems as though as soon as I get upright, the pain immediately sets in and I age about 20 years.
There seems to be so much to do and so little time
I hope everything goes well with your surgery. I know with my surgery I tried to keep it together for my family that I wasn’t stressed myself and I think that helped. I had told my children what was going to happen and that as soon a they could see me they were coming in. My family helped keep them calm until they came in I still sent them to school so they wouldn’t be worrying all day at the hospital I told their teachers what day my surgery was so they would understand if they were distracted in school. And think that helped them too. It helped me to have plans and back up plans for them until I went home 3 days later.
I’m in the same spot as you. My surgery is scheduled for the 16th and I am scared to death. So many unknowns with this surgery and I am trying to decide between two surgeons. My pain is just the same as yours. I make it through the work day and then just don’t have anything left. If my daughter ask me to do something I just want to blow up because the pain is so bad. Surgeon told me today that the pain is better in the morning because the pressure is lowered when you lay down the cerebellum is able to move up a little and spinal fluid can flow better but when were up moving around the fluid builds until we are just miserable. I wish you all the luck with yours and pray we can all be cured of this awful problem.
Dear Tiffany.... and to the other dear folks to have surger,
Just be yourself.... I will be praying for all of you..... I have had to go to several surgeries..... I am a patient of Dr. Dan Heffez...... Focus on what you have to do right now to prepare for surgery....and where ever you are going.....the nurses and doctors will take good care of you...... you are moving forward and that is great...just keep going..... put everything in God's hands.....
This is a good place for you and everyone to receive much compassion and good support.
Thanks for all the replies and good wishes. I hope the same for everyone as well.
Nyne420 - good luck tomorrow. You’ll be in my thoughts.
Elisa - Thanks for the advice. I’m ok most of the time. But it is those super rare times when I have alone time … the few minutes in between me getting home and the kids getting off the bus. Or driving to and from work. Those are the times when I feel lost and anxious. The times when I have no one to be strong for.
Amanda - good luck on the 16th. I’ll be thinking of you. Pick the surgeon you feel most comfortable with. That’s my opinion. It’s really hard to keep up with all of the kids stuff … especially now that we are in conference season. 3 sets of conferences in 3 different schools and African American Heritage night from last week Thursday to this upcoming Tuesday. I’m pushing as hard as I can to attend every last thing because it helps keep things feeling as normal as they can be for the kids.
I WOULD NEVER HAVE THE SURGERY, THE RISK ARE JUST TOO TOO GREAT! MOST NERO SURGEONS WILL NOT EVEN CONSIDER DOING THE SURGERY ANYMORE. BUT I DO WISH YOU THE BEST. MAY GOD HOLD YOU IN HIS HEALING EMBRACE.
Tiffany, I can well imagine what you are going through. I will tell you that kids are far tougher than any of us know so long as we give them the opportunity. You have made the decision for surgery based on need and hope - good for you.Nobody here is in a position to second guess that decision.
It looks like you are preparing well, but if I could I suggest you involve the kids as age appropriate in some of the practical aspects (even if not necessary) they will be more bought in. Sorting clothes and cleaning drawers is a great thing, even planning their school outfits for a week or so and making a list is helpful. Planning preparing and freezing some favorites even having them grocery shop helps. Lists lots of lists and pre planned routine is helpful.
The most important time and possibly stressful times of day is the witching hour. That 30 -45 minutes when they get home for that day. Having the snacks laid out and a plan will reduce everbodies stress. (Young teens are the toughest btw)
Its correct there are fewer surgeries being done as its being determined where there is the highest liklihood of success (or not) There is no reason to believe you are not in that group where success is expected.
BTW don't forget Easter outfits if thats something your family does........
