How do you cope, needing coping skills, help, please

General
1

hi all,

ive just had spine surgery, this is my second one, thought it was a tumor, but lucky it wasnt, it was scar tissue that grew due to the the first surgery i had done 4 yrs ago, to remove a 4.1cm arachnoid cyst compressing my spinal cord in T7-T10,

im now 4weeks post op,

im also nearly 1yr post op from decompression surgery,

ok the thing is, i coped with the two surgeries really well, no issues, emotionally was easy, could rule the world,

but with this one im having trouble, cant see to get my head around it,

last week chiari decided to flare also

when you feel really bad, and its very difficult, like when my body decides its had enough, i cant walk afew steps without needing to stop, fatique is so bad i cant stand long enough to brush my teeth, i cant even kiss my children good night, without needing to run as fast as i can back to bed, my breathing starts getting heavy, pressure in my head and get headaches, i emotionally beat myself up, call myself lazy, no good, what good am i? that sort of thing, i can spend days like this, until finally one day i get up and it feels like its lifted and i can see the light again, do you get like that? and if you do, what do you do to cope with it,

at times i thought what was the point, how do you rise above that?

i dont have family support, im married but my husband isnt that good,

so what do i do? i feel im at my end, i realised i had nothing when i was at my worst,

2

Honey I'm so sorry to hear all you've been through. All I've had was a minimally invasive decompression. But my symptoms are so out of control I can barely function most days. I have a 2 year old, had to quit work in November and move in with my parents. I know what you mean when you about beating yourself up. I feel like a failure as a mother, daughter, employee, sister, friend, person. I spend days, weeks like this then all of a sudden one day I'll feel like my old self. No pain, fatigue, nothing. And sometimes I get a few days like this. I try to make the most of these days, but not over do it. I just try to do what I can even on my bad days. Even if that means having my son in my room watching tv while I doze in and out on pain pills. He actually told my mom that he enjoys it b/c it's "my mommy time, not yours or pawpaws". Just know that it is not your fault that this has happened to you and your children love you and one day they will understand why you couldn't do everything. Don't beat yourself up too much, b/c this is out of your control. And know that you are not alone. Hope you have more good days ahead. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

3

ohhh Jessi Linn

i hear you also, this comes up so often, you have also had it tough, that would of been very difficult having to move back into your parents, but you are lucky to have that, you are not a failure as a mother, you do the best you can,

he treasures those moments, thats so sweet...are there more that the surgeons can do to ease your symptoms?

maybe another surgery? would you consider another op?

i layed in bed for nearly a week and i thought i have no coping skills, when i drop phyically i drop emotionally, i dont seem to get above it, it seems very hard,

since walking into hospital this time round my head has been a non stop chatter, i can seem to stop, there is no settling, even 4weeks later, i felt so possitive then i hit rock bottom, i even wondered why? and what was the point?

i put alot of pressure on this surgery to take alot of symptoms away, and i know its early days but i cant help but feel there is a dark cloud on it, im not normally like that, im normally very good with out comes, maybe its gotten on top of me,

recently my mother disowned me and its better that way, and im gratful to not have her in my life, but part of me yern to have that mother daughter relacenship, all i wanted was support, but she couldnt give it to me, and im sorry for that, im griefing for that, its quite lonely,

im hoping that over time that will get easier,

i take it there isnt a simple fix of coping?

4

Joelene it is early, but my question is, are you on anything for depression? You don't have to answer that on here if you don't want to but if you aren't you may want to see about getting on something. And if you are you may want to see about getting on something else or getting on a stronger dosage. Alot of what you have said sounds like what I went through before they put me on Cymbalta for my depression.

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. That, I have to say is the opposite of what happened with me and my mother. We never got along. I can remember as far back as middle school, us having problems. We actually tried to avoid each other as much as possible b/c it always ended in a knock down drag out fight. But when I got sick, it changed everything between us. That, as you know being a mother, is how it is suppose to be. I hope that she realizes the error of her ways before it is too late. But if she doesn't, it will be her loss in the end b/c she will miss the rest of your life and your childrens lives.

Praying for comfort for you.

As far as anything else they can do, read what I'm about to write to Beeba.

joelene hossack said:

ohhh Jessi Linn

i hear you also, this comes up so often, you have also had it tough, that would of been very difficult having to move back into your parents, but you are lucky to have that, you are not a failure as a mother, you do the best you can,

he treasures those moments, thats so sweet...are there more that the surgeons can do to ease your symptoms?

maybe another surgery? would you consider another op?

i layed in bed for nearly a week and i thought i have no coping skills, when i drop phyically i drop emotionally, i dont seem to get above it, it seems very hard,

since walking into hospital this time round my head has been a non stop chatter, i can seem to stop, there is no settling, even 4weeks later, i felt so possitive then i hit rock bottom, i even wondered why? and what was the point?

i put alot of pressure on this surgery to take alot of symptoms away, and i know its early days but i cant help but feel there is a dark cloud on it, im not normally like that, im normally very good with out comes, maybe its gotten on top of me,

recently my mother disowned me and its better that way, and im gratful to not have her in my life, but part of me yern to have that mother daughter relacenship, all i wanted was support, but she couldnt give it to me, and im sorry for that, im griefing for that, its quite lonely,

im hoping that over time that will get easier,

i take it there isnt a simple fix of coping?

5

Beeba, by minimally invasive I mean he basically did nothing. According to my OP reports this is what was done... 1) Posterior fossa suboccipital bone only decompression. 2) subliminal laminectomy. 3) Resection of fibrous band from the foramen magnum junction.
There was no bone removal, no opening of the dura, no patch. None of the posterior fossa decompression surgery steps other than the laminectomy was performed. But according to my NS, based on my post-op MRI, the surgery was a success. But you can see on my MRI's (which I have on my page, if you want to have a look) there is no change from my diagnoses MRI to my post-op MRI. We have sent a request to the Mayo Clinic to try to get in there. But I'm afraid my insurance won't cover it. That's the first thing I'm going to ask when they call. If not, it's off to Indianapolis to a NS who performed the decomp. surgery on a family friend.

Beeba said:

I am so sorry you are both having such a rough time. You really need to keep those good days to give you the strength and hope to get through the bad days. I know surgery for chiari is not a cure but it should relieve most of your symptoms signifigantly. If you are having more bad days than good please look into things. Jessi- what do you mean by "minimally invasive decompression"? Are you indicating that the dura was not opened? There is no such thing as a minimally invasive - that means incomplete to me. And if your symptoms are still this bad you need a second opinion from another specialist. I thought I was lucky and my surgeon did as lttle as necessary to get rid of my symptoms. After for months of feeling like death I had a slight break and a honeymoon period. Then I started tanking. I was a good doobie and gave it a year for swelling to go down. Then after gaining 30 lbs in 8 months because I moved so little I decided to take back some control. I researched like crazy and found a new surgeon and had second a week later. Me feeling lucky over a less invasive surgery was the big lie!!! First one he opened me up cleared the blockage of fluid,closed me up and said I was fixed and he could no longer explain all my chiari symptoms. 2nd surgery opened it up way bigger,opened the dura and put a patch and took half of my c1 then put a plate to support. Was way worse for 3 days post op but a week after surgery 95% of my chiari symptoms are gone. I am only 9 weeks post op and when I get a ha it is bad but there is also still a ton of swelling. But heart has slowed to a human pace,I don't have to sit down after walking across the room,all the other stuff that goes - you know it all. As for a mother to disown her child when she is in need - there is a special place in hell for a mother to ever abandon her child. That is terrible. Please both of you look further. You should feel better after surgery not worse. I know everything does not always get perfect but it should give some relief and not make you worse. If you ever have doubt keep moving forward until you get where someone can help and give relief. And that relief should not consist of taking so much medicine as a big addictive band aid.
6

I know what you mean. Of course when we were going into it, we didn't know 1/4 of what we know now, otherwise I would have walked out his door the minute he said he was going to do a less invasive surgery that had shown great success. B/c now I know there is no such thing! Wish I had done more research before I let him cut on me, but I really thought I had. But now I realize I had done ALOT, but nowhere near enough!!!! So now we are just waiting to see what happens next. I also have a HA specialist who says most of my HA's are from taking OTC and RX pain relievers for an extended period of time... Not the CM or Occipital Neuralgia that he diagnosed me with and he's got me on a bunch of worthless shit trying to wean me off the pain meds which of course is doing nothing for my HA's or other pain. I'm having to get pain meds from friends and family who can spare some when it gets to the point I can't take it any longer. I'm seeing a new PCP on the 18th and I'm hoping she will refer me to a new pain management place. B/c my NS wants me tested for fibromyalgia, sleep apnea, pots, and meniere's disease. And I have no NL following my case either so I'm basically a lost dog in all of this b/c the NL who referred me to my NS doesn't believe CM even exists but she finally gave me a referral. But I haven't been back to see her since. So I'm really in a boat. But I've seen some in worse shape then me. The surgery he did perform did atleast help with the pressure. All my other symptoms are there and most have gotten worse and I have developed new ones, but the pressure is better.

7

id say talk to your doctors about biofeed back its a wonderful "tool" to help you de-stress- if taught properly how to do it...if that doesnt help then perhaps some medication might be in order...

Jess..i think your NS hoodwinked you!! and stole a boat load of $$ from insurance, that sure doesnt sound like decompression surgery to me and that you NEED to find a NS! asap!!

8

jess get more done for you and your boy, who needs you and you need him,

i will say im not depressed, i just find that when my body is down i just have trouble riding it, its not like as it was before having decompression, that was everyday hardship, and yes im still recovering from spine surgery, and yes im also trying to get my head around my mother deciding im not good enough, ive always knew that, as she was never there when i got sick and needed 3ops, and couldnt cope, i always thought it was me, but now i know it was her, she didnt know how to cope with it, its too late for her and I, she made her choice and she doesnt change her mind, and im not going to go to her, i need to work on me and my family and concentrate on making my life work,

i am on a antidecompressant for nueropathic pain, but i dont know if it helps with moods,

im normally ok, its just going into the hospital this time, i find my head couldnt focus, and still its everywhere, there are so many questions that go un answered, and the what ifs and so far the pains im getting im wondering if the back surgery has been a success, i was off morphine for a week and found i was back on it over the queens birthday weekend, i didnt even do anything, the surgeon didn warn me that the surgery might not help with the pain, but its a terrible pain, and i cant be on morphine for the rest of my life, time i know i need time, im just venting whats in my head, trying to make some sence on it, its hard to get it out, its confusing,also, the pressure in my head has begun again, im hoping its my spine that was doing it as the fluid slowed where the scar tissue was pressing on my cord, and i told the surgeon, he didnt like the sound of that, he is going to renew it after i recover to see if its my spinal fluid thats causing it or maybe i need aother decompression, im hoping i dont need another decompression, actually id rather not go for any more surgeries, they arent my favourate past time, ive come to call them my holidays, lol

ok ill stop there, thankyou for listening,

9

I understand everything you have said Joelene. It is so hard to go into a surgery with just the hope that it will just help. Forget fixing everything. Just make life liveable again. And come out worse off than you were when you went in. I went into mine with a NS who told me that some of my symptoms weren't going to go away b/c I had had them for so long and that I would be on pain management for the rest of my life. But that the majority of them would go away. I am 5 days shy of 3 months post-op and the only symptom that got better is the constant pressure. I still get it, it's just not there 24/7. But I still have every other symptom, most have gotten worse and I have developed 5 new symptoms since. Then on top of that, my NS referred me to an OD who says, other than the HA's that are caused by the occipital neuralgia that he diagnosed me with, my HA's are caused by OTC and RX pain relievers not Chiari. I can't imagine what you have been through. But I do know how it is to have everything in your head and nothing making sense b/c there's so much and so many questions. You don't know where to begin. You can't seem to make sense of it in your own head so your sure as hell can't make it come out right verbally. When I have times like that, I start writing. I write and write and write. It doesn't matter if it makes sense or not, just write. It helped me and still does. Then when my head seems to clear up, I go back and read what I wrote and can make better sense of it and jot down questions that I had for docs, etc. I've also kept them and I'm going to take them with me to my PCP and let her see them and see what she thinks of the randomness. I hope you are doing better, epsecially with the pain.

10

3rd time lucky was what i went in with,

exspec with the pain, its unbearable, its like a knife that in the middle of your back, morphine didnt even help, it just took my mind off it, cause it made me stoned, i didnt like the feeling but sometimes i didnt have a choice, i couldnt do anything, i would in end up in so much pain by just driving to pick up my kids from school, then i get so grumpy, it wasnt their fault, i knew that, but i couldnt help myself i would just snap, i would find days i would dream of over dosing, i even started collecting the pills so when i chose i could have it there, it was my scap goat,

i got to the point i needed some clarratee, so i got a physic in, she gave me a reading, she took me to make a choice, live or die, i chose to live, she told me i would also be doing what she is doing, so get ready, that gave me some modivation, and a push to feel there was more to feel, and to really help other people. to really hard to talk about it, as most people dont believe in it, it was my upbringing, and i am abig believer, and very excited to think that maybe that could be my future, the other day, my lady contacted me, and said that i came though to her, and asked if i was ok, i told her no im not, i need some guideness, so shes coming on friday, ill have alot of questions on my health, so far she has picked up on everything about my body, and told me that the doctors are stumped, they are confused.

i surpose in that way thats how i deal with it, i look spirtualty, no diff than looking at god,

last night i was so racked in pain i could of crawled into a corner and cried i crawled into bed and visualised my hand going into my spine and wiping it smooth, while doing that, i asked that arch angel raphael to give me healing, as i did that, instinctly pain was gone, i was dumbfounded and went to sleep, i told everyone who listened today, and i will try it again when im in terrible pain,

maybe theres something in all this self healing, i should do more of it.

jessi.... you have been though alot also, and you need more surgery to relieve your symptoms to make life mangable, push and dont give up, you last surgeon was not a good surgeon, and should have known better, im in NZ, and we have a different health care here, ours is free, we dont have insurance, unless you want it, our government pays for our health, but we have a waiting list, but when you need it, there isnt a wait,

but we cant sue anyone for malpractice, the medical board investigates them and they can lose their licence,

our docs are called GP general practitioner, they referrer us to where we need to go, then the specialists makes all the calls, most of it though the hospitals,

if you have an accident, we have a govenment run company that you pay percent with your wages every week, called ACC, so that if you hurt yourself no matter what, like fall while painting your house or playing rugby, they will pay for any care you need, or op, or medication, doctors appointments, if you have a surgery or an accident that makes you permamently injured, they will pay you 80%of your wages a week, and anything you might need, home cares, house work, eg house changes, if you cant work for a few months due to injury they will also pay your wages during that time,

but you devolp any illness that isnt an injury, you have no cover, unless you have paid though the teeth for private insurance, but most insurance companies here, dont cover alot of things, MS is only just not been added,

im glad you write things down, sorry i got off track, i dont know how that started, lol

i write in a diary about my symptoms, to see how medications effect me, and if they are working, as overtime its easy to forget things,

but thats about it,

Abby.....you are a sweet heart as always

joelene

11


It hurts to not have that support I know where you are coming from. Except its the other way around.But you are right you are better off without her if it keeps peace in yor life.As for scar tissue sounds like Arachnoiditis scar tissue has a name and makes you feel as though you have cancer. You have to ak if you hve it then ask if it is adhisive.Im nottrying to open another can of worms just some eyes to this terribe desiase. The symptoms of this desease mimics Chiari 1 malformation.Good luck God bless.
joelene hossack said:

ohhh Jessi Linn

i hear you also, this comes up so often, you have also had it tough, that would of been very difficult having to move back into your parents, but you are lucky to have that, you are not a failure as a mother, you do the best you can,

he treasures those moments, thats so sweet...are there more that the surgeons can do to ease your symptoms?

maybe another surgery? would you consider another op?

i layed in bed for nearly a week and i thought i have no coping skills, when i drop phyically i drop emotionally, i dont seem to get above it, it seems very hard,

since walking into hospital this time round my head has been a non stop chatter, i can seem to stop, there is no settling, even 4weeks later, i felt so possitive then i hit rock bottom, i even wondered why? and what was the point?

i put alot of pressure on this surgery to take alot of symptoms away, and i know its early days but i cant help but feel there is a dark cloud on it, im not normally like that, im normally very good with out comes, maybe its gotten on top of me,

recently my mother disowned me and its better that way, and im gratful to not have her in my life, but part of me yern to have that mother daughter relacenship, all i wanted was support, but she couldnt give it to me, and im sorry for that, im griefing for that, its quite lonely,

im hoping that over time that will get easier,

i take it there isnt a simple fix of coping?

12

hi twana

the symptoms fit, i do have issues is the arachnoid area for some area, i do also suffer from those pains,

its also very difficult to dx, i could talk to my NS when i see him, it is a DX i dont want but atleast some answers,

i have chiari type 2,

also i must add, i was a very sick baby, menigitis, blood poisioning, i died, 10wks prem,

i never felt lucky in my life, lol

thankyou for your comments,

what do you mean by other way?

joelene



Twana said:


It hurts to not have that support I know where you are coming from. Except its the other way around.But you are right you are better off without her if it keeps peace in yor life.As for scar tissue sounds like Arachnoiditis scar tissue has a name and makes you feel as though you have cancer. You have to ak if you hve it then ask if it is adhisive.Im nottrying to open another can of worms just some eyes to this terribe desiase. The symptoms of this desease mimics Chiari 1 malformation.Good luck God bless.
joelene hossack said:

ohhh Jessi Linn

i hear you also, this comes up so often, you have also had it tough, that would of been very difficult having to move back into your parents, but you are lucky to have that, you are not a failure as a mother, you do the best you can,

he treasures those moments, thats so sweet...are there more that the surgeons can do to ease your symptoms?

maybe another surgery? would you consider another op?

i layed in bed for nearly a week and i thought i have no coping skills, when i drop phyically i drop emotionally, i dont seem to get above it, it seems very hard,

since walking into hospital this time round my head has been a non stop chatter, i can seem to stop, there is no settling, even 4weeks later, i felt so possitive then i hit rock bottom, i even wondered why? and what was the point?

i put alot of pressure on this surgery to take alot of symptoms away, and i know its early days but i cant help but feel there is a dark cloud on it, im not normally like that, im normally very good with out comes, maybe its gotten on top of me,

recently my mother disowned me and its better that way, and im gratful to not have her in my life, but part of me yern to have that mother daughter relacenship, all i wanted was support, but she couldnt give it to me, and im sorry for that, im griefing for that, its quite lonely,

im hoping that over time that will get easier,

i take it there isnt a simple fix of coping?

13

I totally agree with Abby . We are praying for you. I know how tough this can be. Please don't get upset because you feel like you can't take care of everyone else. As Mothers it is so worse when you are ill. You feel like your heart is breaking on top of your symptoms. Please know we are here for you always !!!!!

Abby said:

Love you. We think you are a very special sister and we claim you love you, here for you, and your the best mom, wife, sister and friend. You are our cheerleader when we need you, and just thinking of You Joelene, makes us all feel very blessed to have You in our lives.
14

thankyou abby and tracyz,

sometimes we just need reminding that we are not supermoms, and yes as mums we take on everything on our shoulders, and expect to do it all, then crumble when we cant,

thankyou for your prayers, it gives me strength, sometimes just need a down time, to be able to rise up and be stronger again,

joelene

15

AMEN to that whole comment girl!! I don't think anyone could say it any better!!

joelene hossack said:

thankyou abby and tracyz,

sometimes we just need reminding that we are not supermoms, and yes as mums we take on everything on our shoulders, and expect to do it all, then crumble when we cant,

thankyou for your prayers, it gives me strength, sometimes just need a down time, to be able to rise up and be stronger again,

joelene

16

Thank you Abby. I think we both really need them right now.

Abby said:

Joelene and Jessie,

My heart goes out to both of you. Please know I am praying for you both. I do believe in prayers, they have helped me and continue to help me.

God Bless,

Abby

17

I also suffered with spinal miningitis Bactiereal reacurring for six years. Cause shattered sckull I fell out of a car going 55mph and hit my head real hard.12 to 18 over 200 lumbar punchers. Mine the other way ment My daughter couldnt or wouldnt support me. She turned her back on me two weeks befor my operation. She dosent care weather I'm dead or alive. It hurts to have your only child turn her back on you. Its ok Im ok she is 32 yrs old. I learned to let go.

joelene hossack said:

hi twana

the symptoms fit, i do have issues is the arachnoid area for some area, i do also suffer from those pains,

its also very difficult to dx, i could talk to my NS when i see him, it is a DX i dont want but atleast some answers,

i have chiari type 2,

also i must add, i was a very sick baby, menigitis, blood poisioning, i died, 10wks prem,

i never felt lucky in my life, lol

thankyou for your comments,

what do you mean by other way?

joelene



Twana said:


It hurts to not have that support I know where you are coming from. Except its the other way around.But you are right you are better off without her if it keeps peace in yor life.As for scar tissue sounds like Arachnoiditis scar tissue has a name and makes you feel as though you have cancer. You have to ak if you hve it then ask if it is adhisive.Im nottrying to open another can of worms just some eyes to this terribe desiase. The symptoms of this desease mimics Chiari 1 malformation.Good luck God bless.
joelene hossack said:

ohhh Jessi Linn

i hear you also, this comes up so often, you have also had it tough, that would of been very difficult having to move back into your parents, but you are lucky to have that, you are not a failure as a mother, you do the best you can,

he treasures those moments, thats so sweet...are there more that the surgeons can do to ease your symptoms?

maybe another surgery? would you consider another op?

i layed in bed for nearly a week and i thought i have no coping skills, when i drop phyically i drop emotionally, i dont seem to get above it, it seems very hard,

since walking into hospital this time round my head has been a non stop chatter, i can seem to stop, there is no settling, even 4weeks later, i felt so possitive then i hit rock bottom, i even wondered why? and what was the point?

i put alot of pressure on this surgery to take alot of symptoms away, and i know its early days but i cant help but feel there is a dark cloud on it, im not normally like that, im normally very good with out comes, maybe its gotten on top of me,

recently my mother disowned me and its better that way, and im gratful to not have her in my life, but part of me yern to have that mother daughter relacenship, all i wanted was support, but she couldnt give it to me, and im sorry for that, im griefing for that, its quite lonely,

im hoping that over time that will get easier,

i take it there isnt a simple fix of coping?

18

twana......thats alwful, you should have your family there for support while you go though the bad times, i understand how that feels, i wondered what i had done to mt mother as she never bothered to even see me before mine, even the first one, which was in o8 i got a txt about 11pm at night saying good luck, i was so upsett,

ohhh she visited a few days later, but damage was done, once i was home she never cared or helped, and then for the yrs later i never got help, even i was sooo sick i eventually asked the family for help, my dad came over and got all grumpy at me, and started about why my husband wasnt here, and that he needed to give up his job, sell the house, get on the benefit and look after me, cause i married him, and im no longer their responciblity, i tod him to leave, as he did, i said for once you need to support to us for once while we need help, (this isnt the first time we have needed it) he turned back at me, nose to nose and backed me in my kitchen, and swore and said i was ungrateful and selfish, and that he could hit me fight right now, he walked out, i was left crying, i learnt never to ask for help again,

and my mother never once came over and said dad was wrong,

so then i went for decompression surgery told everyone, my parents didnt even bother getting in touch, at that stage, they were looking at spine at same time, so it was scarey for me, didnt cope with knowing that both could be done.

later the night b4 going into hospital, i txted them and said that "i know you dont like me, but im your daughter and you need to support me, and i love you, and im scared about going into surgery,", dad txt back and said mum will see you in the morning after her walk,

she did pop in, i cried, she called me stupid, i think in a good way, and wanted me to keep her informed, thats the first time she showed any form of love for her child, ME..

poped into the hospital after surgery didnt have spine done afer all, didnt get help once i was home.

in feb i tried to build a bond with mum, i really wanted it badly, shes not easy to deal with,

so i went there, i just got declined home help, and told her, she went on about how my husband needed to up his game, i said yeh right, and then she decided that for the next hr, to down on him, i steered at the wall, until she said thats why she hasnt helped me, as if she did, then he wouldnt, i then question that, and asked, so for the last 4yrs of me being sick and having surgeries you havent helped cause you dont like my husbnd?, she said YES,

i said where did that leave me, she told me i was slfish and thought of just me,

told me to leave the house of she would call the cops, and that pretty much the end of it, i told her i wont be back,

she then said i was no longer part of the family until i buckup my ideas,

she told me she would give me support for i left my husband, we havent spoken since, and dont plan to,

thats pretty much my story,

you should want to support you family not put them out when things so wrong, what is it, with people,

it hurt me, im still having trouble dealing with it, but now i know that all these yrs it wasnt me, on why she wasnt around, it was her, she had the issues, shes the one that misses out, not me,

19

Saying prayers for you...I am a Mum with a daughter who has Chiari malformation...I would give her the world if I could...you are blessed with a home and help...take comfort in that...and yes consider another opinion surgery should help not worsen a problem...this a call for all who read that have had successful chairi surgery to post...so we can all see hope exsists...and it does.

20

joelene,

You have been through so much....I haven't read all the replies you got ..I will later..gotta take little one to dentist..

anyway..I have not been on much ...been down and feeling crappy.

i just wanted to let you know that you are a true inspiration to me...you handle things with such grace..I only wish you could see that.

I am here for you if you ever need a friend.

love,

lori