How and When do I tell my kids that I have CM?
My oldest daughter is almost 12, my next daughter is 8, my son is 5 and a bit delayed, and my youngest daughter is 3. I don't want to scare them and I just want them to be kids! My hubby is still kinda being a jerk to me like he doesn't want to believe it. I just don't know what to do here. I know when I have to have surgery they are going to have to know but I don't know when that is going to have to happen. I would like them to be prepared because I am the type that has to be prepared for everything. My BFF said she will make like a kid friendly presentation when I am ready I just don't know when I good time to tell them is...Any advice?
I told my kids (twin girls almost 11, son 4.5) that something is wrong w/ the way my brain is formed and it's what is causing me to be extremely tired all the time and have frequent headaches and dizziness. I tried to be as casual about it as possible. The girls do know the name chiari malformation, but they don't all 'get' it exactly. I'm a single mom, so my girls have to help out a LOT and it took them a while to realize that I'm not just being lazy so that I can make them do stuff. lol They are preteens though, so it's still frequently 'all' about them. ;) I have to be as honest w/ them as I can because the 4 of us are a team and they SEE how I am on a daily basis anyway.
They know I might have brain surgery, but I'm still VERY undecided about that as there are no guarantees it will do anything for me and I can't exactly afford the recovery time.... or to be worse off than I am.
I told my daughter after I had clamed down it took about 2 weeks. She's 11 and I knew that I was not going to hide it long. It's easer for me because when i'm feel realy bad she knows whats wrong. I also have Complex Partial Seizures so she has had to deal with alot and you can't hide from your kids they know you as well as you know them.
Hi SayaMe,
You have been given some excellent advice. I also agree it is better to tell them you are not feeling well, because they will notice. Especially your older daughters. This way they will not be scared & worrying. Young imaginations can be worse than the truth about your CM. It also sounds like you have a great best friend. Tomorrow. I will send you some links for Ben Munoz's (The Ben in Ben's Friends) videos. We even have a CM one. Maybe your friend can watch them & get some ideas for her presentation. As far as your husband....he probably is in denial. That happens to many men. You can always see if he would like to join this group. I would even talk to him & answer any questions he may have. He may even be scared. Please know we are here for you. You let us know how to assist you. You & your BFF & Family are not alone. We understand,
Tracy Z.
Thank you all so much for the advice! I had planned on telling them I just didn't know when. I think I will wait until my NS appointment on the 15th that way I know a lot more about what is going on. I know it may sound crazy but I think my younger 2 understand a little bit about what it going on, they both are very cuddly and loveable especially when I am tired and have no energy to do anything. My older 2 just seem to get an attitude but I think some of the oldest one's thing is her age, I babysat a girl when she was 11 and I remember her acting exactly the same. Again thank you all! :)