It is really tough when your brain is no longer working like it was before. i found it very useful to have a lengthy (all day) neuro-psychological assessment performed. I did a whole bunch of tests that assessed my level of cognitive ability and what my deficits were and how severe. I did very well in some areas and had marked deficits in some. It was effective in declaring that I would be unlikely to return to work if my deficits did not improve.
It was also helpful in determining what I did well and offered strategies on how to work around my deficits. It also helped my husband on how to work with me in an area I found hard and helped my parenting approaches.
I also greatly benefitted by lowered stress and expectations. I was no longer a super-mom with a full-time job. I was now a stay at home mom who does not always get the basic done and that is okay - some days. Some days I still get down about my abilities or lack of energy.
Sounds like your life is spinning out of control, but I hope that you can get grounded again however that looks for you.