Last ditch effort the NS said today

Went to NL this morning before my final, she said the pressure could be caused by pressure inside my eyes so she wanted me to see a eye dr to get that checked. Went to take my final in Japanese history and culture (only good news I got a B+ on that so no fear of not graduating on the 11th now!!!! wahhooo!!!!!) Went to the eye dr got an exam and the pressure is within normal limits. So go to my NS apt this afternoon, he went over everthing with me and said we are going to give ametripyline and topamax a try and if after this month (apt on the 31st of May already set up) then decompression surgery....why the hell am i scared shitless now?!?!

My daughter's CM was found 18 months ago. She's tried all the pills and injections, biofeedback and talking it out. Accupuncture, eye pressure/exam, updated all dental X-rays, cranail sacral and deep tissue massage, tested all vits, minerals, thyroid, hormones, allergies, etc,...etc,... And all along the only thing that we keep coming back to is the fact that there's this big CM and fluid blockage. Nothing else has panned out IN THE LEAST.

All she wants is to feel better and hear the NS say that surgery may be an option. Recently one said maybe not.

Then another came in the room (her regular NS) and said maybe so. We REALLY need to consider it.

First there was relief and vindication. Next the fear set in. Here all this time we've all been so afraid she'd never be told surgery is an option. Now we're afraid of the surgery...especially her, needless to say!

Must be normal to feel this way?!